Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year 2008 Get Together !

Budha haru le kachuli pherechhan...This is the reality behind our great heroes. Our great politicans..This new year our politicians are going to rock the world. The theme of this new year 2008 in our country Nepal is "HIP HOP". Hip hop in rise of petrol price, hip hop in rise of cooking gas price and hip hop in everything else. They are creating the new Nepal for us. Welcome 2008 with our great Budha haru... The Great Hip Hop Picture of our country. Naya Barsa 2008 Ko Subhakamana !!!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Welcome 2008

This Year, I feel like starting to live again. I feel like making the mistakes I always wanted to make, but never had the courage to, facing up to the feelings of panic that might well come back, but whose, presence will merely weary me, since I know I'm not going to die or faint because of them. I can make new friends and teach them not to follow the manual of good behavior but to discover their own lives, desires, and adventures and to LIVE. I'll quote from Ecclesiastes to the Catholics, from Koran to the Muslims, from the Torah to the Jews, from Aristotle to the atheists. I never want to be a Professional again, but I can use my experience to give lectures about men and women who knew the truth about this existence of ours and whose writing can be summed up in one word: Live. If you live, god will live with you. If you refuse to run his risks, he'll retreat to that distant heaven and be merely a subject for philosophical speculation. For a time in my life I stood looking at the wind, I forget to sow, I did not live joyfully, and I did not even drink the wine offered me. But this New Year 2008, I judge myself ready. There are people who spend their entire lives searching for a moments but hardly they achieve it. That's why if I were to die now, I would die with heart full of love. I want to feel the rain on my face, to smile at any women I feel attracted to. I want to kiss my mom and dad, tell them I love them, weep in their lap, unashamed of showing my feelings, because they were always there. If an interesting women invites me out to a club, I'll accept,& I'll dance all night until I drop. I want to give myself to one women, to the city, to life and, finally, to my death.

Taken from: “Veronica decides to die” by Paulo Coelho

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy New Year 2008

Welcome to new year 2008. What is the difference in 2008 and 2007 don't you think these are just the numbers ? or do you think something else. Well, if you think something else then, think again ! Nothing is different it is us who always think that we have to make something different in different situations. Every day is the same and every day it our human nature which do not like to do the same thing again and again. It might be our brain which always wants to do something different but why ? The main cause of wanting something new is for the progress, for development for acheivement and for ideal and inner safety.

The new number is soon going to be update in every calendar, every time table and so and so things. What is 2008 ? It is the same day with different inner interpretaions, with new hope and with wanting of change in inner, outer and self. We expect something from this number that is why we like to say that "Happy new year Mr.X" We want to change because we are not satisfied and we have not reached the goal we wanted in life. We love this new number because we think we like to have celebration ! We celebrate in this New number may be beacuse we think this number will bring something new in our life and will make some different in our life. We say that it is new year may be because it is our hope and to hope is to expect to think that we are not perfect.

If we break these words then they are 3 different words which says- Happy
New, and Year which all have different meaning. Happy or Happiness is state of mind which cannot be permanet, New is for difference something which has not been done before, something which is different, creation,invention etc.., and there is third word which says year- Well, year is year. What are we expecting in 2008 ? What are we thinking in 2008 ? Why are we using the word Happy New Year 2008 ? or Happy New Year 2008 ? Will the combination of 3 words make a person happy ? Do people think that world will be better place to live by simply combining these words ? If you think "yes", then think again.

No body had defined the word life, love, difference,happy,death,live,women,peace and religion. No body can define it and No one will think of accepting it. Every body has their own version and defintion of these words. No body wants to accept and just listen to someone ideas, views and thoughts. I do not the question itself called "why" which cannot be described.

Well, Whatever be the case and My own experience and knowledge do not let me accept the fact that people should use just the word if they think or expect the change to occur in some body else life. If you can really make the difference then please use it.The difference can be made by being together sharing the moments, sharing ideas, sharing food, sharing emotions and most importantly by sharing the happyness which itself is mysterious.

Last but not the least-"Happy New Year 2008" !

I do not want to give some mere hope to you all but i would like to say that just take it easy, and be yourself- does not matter the difference in number, or difference is some body else's attitude.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Beautiful Morning (26th December 2007) at 11:27 FLE Standard Time

I woke up, half an hour ago, What I saw was amazing, I saw a couple just walking with their son. Son has a bicycle with a flag in it. The couple were walking ahead of son. The son stopped and he saw one small narrow down-hill. He asked with his mom i do not want to walk but i want to climb down this slope. Their parents did not do anything and said go ahead. He started going down the small slope hill, He slowly was climbing down then suddenly he slipped, In that case also, His Parents did not came to pick him up so helped him they were just watching what he does. Again, He started climbing down. Now, Some how Slowly and steadily he managed to come down of that small slope. He was happy. He was satisfied, He thought he did something on his own, He really was excited and now what he might have thought was well, I have done what i wanted let's get back to the place where i come from. He started now climbing up the hill or slope He climbed easily and reached near the road. His parents were just a spectator nothing else. Even they were happy to see him back on the top of the road. Now this small kid, started his small bike and started riding it again.

What is the moral of the story ? There are thousand lessons to be learnt in life just by watching at some body. We cannot spent whole life for figuring out the mistake we have done and learning the lessons from it. We have to take lessons from every body around us. What happens when we let it go. Why we think we are not safe ? Why the parents let their child "be him". They did not make their decisions. They did not force him to stop or do something. They just agreed on the decision what he too. Why were they not worried about their own child ? They would have surely thought that he might get hurt but why did they jut let him go. They did it becasue they wanted him to find out for himself. We all are connected to our parents some how and all parents to care for their children but the real parents are those who let their child make their own decision. Why don't we understand this ? When we will say something to a child and ask him to stop ! He will not find out for himself. So, Now The message is to parents to Stop asking their child what to do and what not to do.

Id Mubarak !

“Id Mubarak”
Well, today my friend came to the apartment we had a very good discussion, nice to see him after a long delay. I also forgot to say, “Id Mubarak”. ! I asked him what he wants to read from me today, He said something about the “Happiness” well, here it is-What is happiness? Can happiness be achieved? Is happiness a state of mind, is it a fun? What is the word called happyness? Let me do some chemist work on this word called happiness or happyness whatever it is/-Breaking the word “happiness”
H: What his character means? Does it mean Human, Does it mean Heart? What is the “H” what is that connection between human and heart. Is the happiness connected to these parts of human body? May be it is connected. Whatever we feel about the word has something to do with these two parts of body.
A: Now comes the Beginning of Alphabet which is “A”. I do not know what “A” resembles may be it is achieved. Or achievement.
P: P can be presence, present or moment.
P: Another P- it can be Poison
Y: Now I am confused, is it “I” or “Y”
So, what is happiness? Happiness is a state of mind- where it can be with you all the time and it cannot be with you even entire your life. Last time I saw a movie called “The pursuit of Happyness”. The whole movie says that, “Happiness cannot be achieved it can only be pursue. Well, I do not believe in that- Happiness can always be achieved, it is the state of the mind where you have to have some space where you can put the happiness in one corner and try to get it from there whenever you feel you want it. It can be done, only question is how ?Well, Happiness is very fast topic to write in a single article I have to realize it so, some lines I have kept it here-
“Happiness is state of mind which triggers when we want that”
To achieve happiness we have to achieve sadness every time, they are interrelated. It is the sadness which is your best friend not the happiness. They are both best friends. But the best for every individual in this earth is sadness because it is the one which lives inside our body, which teaches us many things in our life. So, Happiness is just a state of mind and it triggers only when we want it to trigger. A person cannot be happy all the time but he can be happy all the time if his best friend is sadness.

Email from RBG (Racist British Guy)

I know you have given me 5 euros when i needed most and i appreciate that.but it was you who rang me and asked for the Beer and some potatoes and chips noone else coz ya couldnt walk from ya apparmtnet till s market for shopping. coz ya feets were broken.....
Well then you owe me 11,92 in that sense ..
If you saying about the level of water i am living then luk afta ya self ya living liek a propa zippo.. "A PERSON WITHOUT IDENTITY"

I think you have to luk after the meansin of racists before you say to me.well i accept that word. may be me being racist again ya attitude, leevel of thinking.Ok i am gipos as well ..i live with 5 ppl in same room and i have asshole which took ya to uni several times.thats enough for ya ..if ya want more i can write more problem.

Well incase of degree i dun like to harm ota in studies n i am not shit like ya all.if I wan i can do it easily but dun wan to coz ya are here to study though ya depend on otha but still ..

I have ended the relationship with ya ages ago coz i dun like the way speak and the way ya act.Ya used to ring me an ask to go to university when i had nuthin to do. coz ya needed lift .and that was such a stupid mentality..

well in life i prefer to walk and do me stuff rather askin ppl to give me lift unless n until its emergency ,


Tuesday, December 25, 2007


It is today (25th December,07) One of the British guy, well there is only one British guy studying at LUT behave like a racist. He is total racist, how can I say that? He says that he hates us- all the person living in this earth with black or brown skin. We were a very good friend of him before some times back. Later we found out that he is not doing well, for this university and for the whole Finland, He thinks whole Finnish people stupid, he once said to me, “Santosh, I can fool all the administrator and Professor in the University.” I said, “Well, how is that possible?”
He said, “Advantage of my language-English”, I can speak faster then them, I can twist and turn the words, I can use slang like “Do you understand what I mean?” etc. Then I thought why is he doing this, I realized may be for his own benefit. He is selfish, egocentric and real asshole when it comes to thinking that he is the Best. He makes up the story as he wants, he think he can do what he wants because he has a good privilege from the British government. So, Later we found that to make a good relationship like friendship with this guy is not good. We then wanted to ignore him but he started showing his true colors.
He has plenty of advantage from the British government but we do not have. We just came here to study and we want to study but now when we cannot help him with his assignments, project and some other stuff he is behaving like we are no humans. Is only the people from Great Britain are humans? What is our fault of not having White Skin? Why are we always underdogs? Why are we all treated like this? Are all people of Great Britain Racist?
How can we judge a character of person without knowing him? His character does not resemble to any British guy, He is always pretending. What is our fault in helping him complete his studies and letting him with us for some time. We even cooked a food many times and have served him. Now today on Christmas day, “He wrote a email saying that he is racist and he wants to be racist.”

We went to his flat because he wrote one of friends’ an email stating his girl friends thing….
Why does he have to bring the friend’s girl friend in the middle of our discussion. Since we were trying to solve our problem, the problem between British guy, me and my friend. Why does he have to bring my friends girl friend and write some thing stupid on her. What do she has to do with all this? My friend got angry. He still is very angry so my friend decides to go to his room and see him. So, I also went with him and we both went to see this British guy. He now started making things up. Just before calling to Police he said he can do what ever he like in Europe. He has a right to do whatever he wants. So, He called a Police and me and my friend were standing there for a police now, Police came. They asked some general info and asked us to leave as well. Since it is not a big crime or some thing like that.
I want to ask, why we are always in this situation. Why People from Britain think they are racist?” Is all people from this place are like Mr. Mahesh Khakurel- a Nepal born British Citizen.
Who thinks there is no world except in Britain? Why these people our color of skin? What is the cause? Are we not humans are they are? These people hate us may be because we are poor. So what is being poor has to do? Are all people in world are only rich and superior?
I do not know what kind of children Great Britain is making for their future. But it needs to be clearly checked once.

Racist British Guy

Life is all about the color of skin. I have the black or brown kind of color in my whole body. I am not white. There is one British friend, whose mother and father are both Nepali, they are currently living in America. He came to study here in Finland, at Lappeenranta University of Technology. He started showing his presence. He showed every body that he is much talented, studios and brave in every aspect of life. He started talking with every one, with administrators, international coordinators and every body around the university. He showed that he is the best in whatever he does, because of his British citizenship. He is superior to any individual living here in Finland and he can make a fool to them very easily. I just met him one day in the college and it shows how he was good at twisting and turning of the words to make things happen for him. I thought this guy is good. Later knowing him more. I started thinking again, now what I think is all British People are racist or are they?
I come from very poor country called Nepal; Along with me I have 6 other Nepali friends here at his reputed University. It is very difficult for us to sustain and live a life here because of our financial, economical, political and geographical conditions but Finland is good. Finns are the best people in the whole earth. Why? They respect other and they help others. So, we were here all together 6 Nepali guys. And one Nepali turned British guy. He loves his car. He has lots of money. He is rich person of rich country. But only problem with him is he is racist. We did not know that before, we thought he is just a simple human being as we are.
He always wanted a help from us. He took the help. He then, started showing his color. He says, “He do not know how to speak Nepali”, He says, “He hates us, because he think we are beggars” We beg him for the lift in his car. He says, “He can call cops and put us in jail, just like that”.
One day he wrote a mail saying that he hates the people who belong to third world country. Well, I have nothing to say on that, because all the first world people are good, satisfied human beings because they have the color of skin as white. They are superior to us, we are born black and we will die black we are not superiors as them. What a person has to do with the color of skin? Why are we treated like this? Are all human beings not equal? What kind of word we are making here for our future? We are teaching our children to be racist, hate those people who have black or brown color of skin.
One day his car broke down and he do not had money (may be British people do not carry cash) so he called me and ask me to come for the help so I went there and he run out of gas, so I paid him 5 Euro for his gas. After some days, I asked him my 5 Euro, he said he do not give those 5 Euro, I asked him why? He again pretended something else. And said do not want to give the money back. He feels proud when he steals a dozen of book from University. He says with proud face that, his girl friend also took a Dell Keyboard from the University. I do not know how much stuff he is taking from the university, a clear stealing of things. Every person living should inspire other person by some means. Here is one British guy, who inspires us to steal the stuff from university or from our own friend’s house. I don’t know what they are teaching in Schools and College in Great Britain. Putting the word “Great” in “Britain” does not make it great. It’s all about the people in Britain who should make their country proud. Well, the story does not end here...
It is just started:-

Two Lives

I do not know what to write, I do not have any words today to write these words to not matter as long as the feelings matter to a person. Last night I went to a friend’s house, “He said, I do not know weather I should live or kill myself” I asked him, “Why is he saying like that, what is the problem”? He does not think that life worth that much because he was in love with one girl, she was very beautiful. The girl too was in love with him. They both had very good time sharing memories, sharing food, sharing clothes and everything a nice happy couple would have. But the problem arose when one day the girl family forcefully asked her to marry a famous Doctor. The problem was that both the girl and boy were inter-caste. They did not belong to same caste. The girl was worried very much she did not knew what to decide whether she should marry a man her family is insisting on or rather marry the boy she is in love with. The guy was spell bound and he has nothing to say. He asked me this question time and again-Santosh, Why are we having this problem? What is the main cause behind this? Can you give me helpful solution? Well, I went in deep thought whole night and I finally got this idea, Life is all about living for a day. Forgot about the religion as long as you follow your heart. Two things cannot go hand in hand. One is mind and other one is heart. Religion is mixture of Mind and Heart. Mind says do this, do those? Heart says I want this. If you are deciding between what you want and what has to be done then which one you should choose? It is always the combination of these two would give you the best possible result. But if one thing misses, it will always be good to listen to your heart. Religion is one of the biggest problems our country is facing today. Every father and mother wants to marry their child with the same caste they belong to. But why? Caste does not matter as long as Feelings matter deep inside the heart. Imagine you were to die and you have just one day to live. What would you do in that case? Which caste you would choose then? Always listen to your heart, if you listen to it, you will always get what you want and you will reach where you want to go. With mind you will also reach to the destination but the challenging, entertaining, fighting, struggling journey of reaching to destination won’t be there. Life is all about learning. If the girl listens to her family members, she is not making her decision, she is living on somebody else’s decision, it is not your mistake and just let it be. So, do not worry and ask your girl also not to worry as long you both are listening to your heart, feeling silence, going back to your self and being yourself, present- in present.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Message from Paulo Coelho

Today it was abit surprising for me that some great writers like Paulo Coelho has got some time for me to write to me, When i woke up today checking my daily emails.He said he values his readers, Well that is a nice appreciation from the great writer like Paulo Coelho. It is my pleause to recieve the email from him. He also gave me his article of Christmas. Well, There is one question to Mr. Paulo Why in earth he values his reader ? Is it becasue he is afraid of his status.Is it just like that. Or Is it becasuse he cares for his readers. There are many issues when you become famous. You do not want to loose. you always want yourself to see in top. There is one saying that No body no things in whole world is permanent, We all have good days and we all have bad days. Some of the men in this planet are great leaders of the great nation some of the men are just a hard workers. Leadership, Writing skills and other appreciating the theme of life is just not in our hand. I believe nothing is in our hand. No body...can control the next very second of the life. If some thing is going to happen it just happens, call it whatever you wish to call it.., It can be faith..., It also can be anything you wish to put it. This is the way of life we are living, we are a body which is very always in motion. Any ways we always want that moment of our life where we are in motion not to let it go. That is why we always have to come down to earth. Paulo Coelho is great writer and he will be great Writer but .....

He also have to move .. He also has to be in motion and then that moment will be of somebody else. I am not saying that He has something wrong to anybody, He is a fine character and may be a very good human being who is giving loads of knowledge to human beings around the world. But the thing is that, He is afraid ..., Deep inside he is afraid...,

Nothing is permanent in this world, May be The words what i am putting here are negative but these words are not negative or positive it is how we interpert or decode them to understand it.

My mind

I started this blog, with the concept of writing what goes in my mind. I kept the name of the blog as Bheja. It is an indian word. What is going on today in my mind, well today i am feeling a pain in my headeach but who cares and who wants to care about it. Even if i say to people that i had an headach, nobody will listen to me.., they will just say go and visit doctor or put some medicine that's it. But no body wil ask with me why had this problem. What is the root cause of having this problem dealing with this problem every time. why i am leaving in this planet and what is the sole purpose of living.

I have this problem and I want the solution to remove my problem not just to cure it. I do not want to cure the problem I want to remove it. Now, the big question is how ? The answer to this question is when my mind ask me to think on some pattern and when it does not matches with my heart it would cause me some pain in my head. The head always ask me to do some thing like for example, assignments, project or some research work but at the same time, My heart says that i want to talk with my wife back in my country. Now do not take it seriously Wife and girl friends are quite different according to me, I am not legally married but i do not want to use the word "girl friend" There are some reason against use of it. So, this is the case my heart says i want to talk with my wife back home in Nepal and My mind says i have to complete the assignment Now when the mind orders me something the heart do not understands and when heart asks something to mind, Mr. Mind says no i wont do it. They had a fight with each other. Now the mind has lost the battle and my heart has won the battle. When my mind lose the battle that means i did not do my project work but rather i talked with my girl friend: that is why i think i had a headache. but Who cares ?

Welcome to My Mind, My bheja !

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year ! Hope life brings you loads of happiness and joy to make your life memorable and joyful to live for ever and ever. Everything you desire comes as you desire and not the other way around.

Good Luck ! and Best Regards !

From "My Bheja" !

Thursday, December 20, 2007


What is the topic today ? Why it is 0. How do you call it ? It is 0 or is it zero or is it null or is it nothing. What is that i have kept the topic for the today article is 0. I do not know what is this... But when i do not know what is this then at this time,i must know somethig about it as well. If i believe or assume that it is the starting of the number then, it can also be assumed that it is the starting of the relationship, life, women, girl, dating, partner and everything else. Is it the end of number then, it is the end of above mentioned variables. Life is all about understanding... how can we understand that we are existing in today's world ? We wake up every day, do our stuffs and go back to bed.. This is the daily routine we go through but how can we say that we are alive. Is it the presence we make in the crowd that shows us that we are alive or is it the happiness we feel deep inside that gives us the feeling that we are alive and it is good to be alive. We are the mysterious creature and we will remain as the mystry to every body else around us because they are also the same creatures. We have faith on that 0 if we think that 0 means God, Jesus and Mohammad, All the dispute that is present in today world is all because we asume something before experience makes us realize that what is the truth and what is not truth. Welocme to the world of 0. Unknow, mystry and Unsolved.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

How to give Exam !

Can you describe this word called exam ? What actually is the exam ? E X A M how was it derieved. I am not going to do research on this word and give you the detail about it. I just want to give some message here. What is exam ? I do not know may be E stands for experience, but experience can be in field of study, experience can be in the field of understanding the subject, experience can be in knowing what others had already done. What ever it may be, the message is do not be afraid of exams. Life is full of exams itself, we travel and every steps we take we give exam. The step we take gives us the result either we pass passing that step or we fail by not moving to next step.

Do not worry about the exams. Life itself is full of exam. There are subjective, objective and many kinds of exam. We are not afraid of exams when we are not afraid of life and death. Take life as it is and not what you want to make it. If we take our life as it is, we will face very little problem in our life but if we want to make our life somebody else life then we are not living our life. It is some body else life not yours.

Learning is through failure. Exam is checking how much failure you have achieved in your life. There is no word called success. There is only failure, which is close to our heart.Which always reminds us who we are and where we come from. Nothing is perfect, nothing can be perfect only our failures can be perfect and to make that failure perfect we have to give exam in every steps of life we take. Good Luck !

Finnish Flag (kalinppu)

Do you know why there is blue cross across white lines in the flag of finland ? Well i didn't knew this when i came here some 4 months ago. This is becasue there are many lakes in finland. It is also know as the country of thousand lakes. The color of lakes or water is taken as blue and the same color is kept in the national flag of finland. The white color also says that one of the highest snowing contry so the combination of white and blue is what the Finnish flag has got. May be it is also because of the fact that finnish people are very humble, shy and helpful in each aspects.

Just come to finland and ask something ! But be prepared for not hearing any thing from the finnish men you are talking with. This is because if they know english they will tell you where to go and what to do but if they do not know how to speak in english they will rather be silent.

Lakes in finland is teaching every finnish people how to behave and how to deal with the reality of life. Silence is the best assest these people have, which is refreshing and encoraging.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Good sex really is mind-blowing for women

Women may fool their sexual partners by faking orgasm, but their brains cannot lie. Reaching a proper sexual climax is, for women at least, a mind-blowing event. Large parts of their brains that deal with emotion and fear appear to shut down so that they can enjoy the thrill.
A series of experiments at the Univerity of Groningen, in the Netherlands, used brain scans to map what happened in men's and women's heads while their partners sat by their prone bodies, sexually stimulating them.

The tests involved 13 women and 11 men aged 19 to 39. Women told the researchers when they faked orgasm, but the truth was there on the scans anyway.

Professor Gert Holstege reported the findings at a conference in Copenhagen, Denmark, organised by the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology.

"The main thing we saw was deactivation in women," he said. "It was unbelievable, very pronounced. I think that is the major outcome of the study. You see extreme deactivation of large portions of the brain, especially the fear centres, the brain that controls emotions."

The main part of the brain that seemed active was the cerebellum, linked to control of movement, but scientists also think it may have an emotional role. This was active in fake orgasms too, but otherwise there was a different picture.

"If you look at women that faked orgasm you see the same kind of thing in the cerebellum, but the cortex, the conscious part of the brain, is also active," Prof Holstege said.

To reach true climax, women needed to ensure that fear and stress did not get in the way. "The deactivation of these very important parts of the brain might be the most important thing necessary to have an orgasm. If you are in a high level of anxiety it is very hard to have sex."

Men were studied in the same way, but because it typically took only 20 seconds to reach ejaculation, it was difficult for neuroscientists to obtain and interpret data. But Prof Holstege suspects that the change in brain pattern may mirror that of women.

Another part of the study in which the volunteers were stimulated without reaching orgasm showed differences in brain response however. In both sexes, an area called the amygdala, a fear centre, was deactivated, but in men, an ancient part of the brain linked to emotion, called the insula, became more active.

Other differing brain patterns between the sexes suggested that men respond differently to having their genitals stimulated. Men appeared to want to rationalise the experience by interpreting its importance, while women merely enjoyed the sensation.

"Men are seeing it as a big deal, the interpretation of what is happening is important to them," Prof Holstege said. "Women apparently do not have this idea that this is so important. With women the primary feeling is there, but not the interpretation."

The volunteers, all heterosexual and right handed, were recruited through Dutch magazines. Since it was vital for them to remain completely still in the scanner, they had to have their heads restrained, although they were free to move the rest of their bodies.

"We are neuroscientists, so we're only interested in the brain," said Prof Holstege.

There were, however, some physical matters that had to be attended to as well. "A major problem was they got cold feet, so they put socks on," he added.

Prof Holstege hopes his work may lead to treatments which lower anxiety levels and which reduce sexual dysfunction." Alcohol brings down fear levels. Everyone knows if you give alcohol to women it is easier," he said.

Taken from:

Copenhagen medical conference hears of hot passions and cold feet

James Meikle, health correspondent
Tuesday June 21, 2005
The Guardian

Am I really depressed ?

Am I really depressed?

Depression is one of the main causes of defects cause in human body. Why people are more depressed then they were before. Is it because of the climate? How can climate affect the level of energy in human body? Why I myself is feeling depressed. ? These questions are something which is very hard to express. From last couple of weeks I have not been present in Barbara’s class, she must be feeling depressed not to see me, or is it me who is feeling depressed not to see her. Am I a really busy person or is it because of the work load I am having. Some times what I think is that, we all people who I am related with and who I think are here in this country are going through this stage. Is it because of climate and workload? Can climate really affect the mind of people? I do not know weather it is scientifically proved or not. What I think is that, Sun is the energy, From last month I have not see sun smiling as it does in other part of world. Why is he depressed with himself? We are living in place where level of energy is created by human. It is not natural. Some times it may be also the cause why people in Finland speak less. To speak we need energy now, since we all live in dark from where can we expect the energy to get inside our body. I am not seeing smiling anybody. I myself is not smiling. Every body is feeling depressed and so is nature feeling depressed. Life is a journey of uncertainties there are always ups and downs in life. Here in Finland there are loads of resources available but one thing is lacking here which is brightness. It may be also be the cause of less population then any where else. I am making my predictions so this prediction has nothing to do with anybody. Hope fully one day the sun will shine and bring the energy in every individual, make them cheerful and smile for ever and ever. The day is not very far as we do not know how time passes by, life is just like a journey which satisfies the moment we cherish at every time. I hope we are not satisfied and we will not as long as there is life, we all are a human who can just pass the message of love, peace and truth passing by. Nothing is good or bad. Every thing is good it is us who think the things as bad. One day, one of my friends said, “Santosh why did u always say this is good and that is good. Why don’t you use the word bad?” I replied to him, “Well, Nothing is bad my dear friend it is us who think that is bad. Take an e.g. of food if we are eating at this moment, you are saying the food that you are eating is bad but it’s not the food which is bad it is your mouth which is saying the food is bad. It is only the words. The thing is the same and it will remain the same. Similarly, depression is not what we feel inside us it is just what we say. We are happy and cheerful since the time we were born and we will remain the same.

Sunday, December 9, 2007


Life sometime really creates loads of problem between friends, it is so easy to break the relationship. That is why i always say, building a relationship or building anything in this world is one of the great thing man has done and man will do. But breaking is done also which is easy. Every body in this planet is looking for the easy solution rather than difficult approach of leading the life. As for example, who better than me, I am lazy, I cannot create the solution for my excercise. I do not want to create it. Why should i create it if someone else can do it for me. I would rather take a benefit of it and use it. Put my name in his name and tell it was done by me. I am really a lazy, there are many factors that depends on that such as time, money, family pressure and so on but who cares every one in this world wants a easy way out.

Now let me explain, last night my friends wanted the code which i could not give ? I know i may sound like a selfish now. But if you think i am selfish now i will ask you the same question later. I am in a group. I am doing the project with the friend who is very good at programming, He has done every thing I have very less part on this project now,my other friends who are doing the same project wants his code or shall i say our code. I could not say our because all the thing is done by my group friend so it is his creation not mine. Now I am in trouble here. I cannot give some one else property to my friends.

These friends think that i am selfish. How can i be selfish on which cirmustances i am regarded as selfish, proudy and greedy or what so ever. I do not understand what the hell is going on. I cannot give some one else creation and in other hand i cannot say no to them. But i took a brave approach and said, sorry ! i could not give you the code because i am not the creator of it. They think i am a selfish guy. They even said,We understand what kind of person you are. Now, I went into deep thinking for some time period. Am i wrong ? May be i am wrong because i am not good at writing code. may be i should quit doing the project and then my other friends will be happy. So i decided to tell them that i won't be doing the project. But These friends were not satisfied, they say well if you do not want to do the project, that is interesting thing to hear but we still need the code. Oh ! dear ,,,,

Now i want to ask you, am i wrong ? am i selfish ?

Whatever be the case, i decided that i will give the code but only after i finish our group demonstration. This is a real world !

Nothing is permanent, we all need something.May be there would not have been any problem if i could have leart how to program,, but the probleme lies beneath me where i am a poor programmer. No experiences, I do not know how to program.

Every one in this whole world is selfish ! It's not me or you ! Every body is selfish. I am not hurt by what my friends said to me or what they will say to me because every thing is words. World do not value as much as emotional feeelings. It is because of feelings you understand people not by words. The person who created this planet is also selfish, may be it wanted to find out who the creator was of this world. May be it wanted to worship the creator, or may be it wanted to say that there is always a unreliable map to unexplored territory. May be it wanted to show that there is some one who is above every thing. May be !

Monday, December 3, 2007

I am Satisfaction

Well, I went to the pub, or let's called a holy place where people meet in europe, Every body goes to this place where they say that, It is the place where people have loads of fun and enjoy themselves.I was not feeling comfortable to go to this pub or club whatever., But somehow I went with the bunch of my friends, I saw every body may be i should call loads of penish and vagina were present in the Club. Pussy were searching for penis and penis were searching for vagina. Every body wants sex. When you feel that you want a good sex, decide to go to the club and find some chicks or chicken there. Why people think that when we go to club we would have loads of fun., we will get drunk and might get some chick or chicken to enjoy ? Is sex a love ? or Is sex gives satisfaction ? Are we satisfied with one person or we want many ? My friends pulled me to the dance floor and they asked me to dance., this was not surprising to me becasue i knew they are going to ask me, to dance. Since i do not know how to dance., i did not wanted my friends to disappoint so i went there and started to shake my penis and the remaining part of my body which is attached to it. I was soon tired may be beause of my overweight. I was standing in one corner of the dance floor My eyes saw our unviersity lecturers and professors, i knew why are they also there. Must be in search for some pussy.I started thinking in one corner if i were the satisfaction, how would so many people dancing in that dance floor would know how to get the satisfaction ? They all are in need for one thing either that is in life,love, relationship or in good sex or whatever that is "Satisfaction". We all are not satisfied, we want a good job, good salary , a good loving wife and most importantly Satisfaction. Do you know how to get it ? If i can say i am satisfaction, i think no body will let me be me, they will always want some thing from me but i know i cannot give them this. All the people who were gathered there, were not satisfied ! They wanted something, We have thousand wishes in our life we get many of them fulfilled but it cannot be fulfilled. Satisfaction is fraction or moment., how can a time be defined ? No body can define it. May be what i am thinking now is Time is moment, Every moment we go through is a time. If we do not go through the moment we are not in time. Satisfaction has some attachment with time. The lesson learnt on that day was, No body were satisfied and no body can be satisfied because they don't feel happy or fulfilled with what the time and moment has given then. People are not satisfied because they want more. In search for more they are getting nothing any more. We think that we are in good relationship, one day we think again that we are not satisfied in the relationship, nothing can be trusted. If people want more the more will give nothing, but if you are satisfied with what you have and what you do., you will one day may become a Satisfaction !