Sunday, October 21, 2018

Find what you love and let it kill you.

“I've never been lonely. I've been in a room -- I've felt suicidal. I've been depressed. I've felt awful -- awful beyond all -- but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me...or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I've never been bothered with because I've always had this terrible itch for solitude. It's being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I'll quote Ibsen, "The strongest men are the most alone." I've never thought, "Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I'll feel good." No, that won't help. You know the typical crowd, "Wow, it's Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?" Well, yeah. Because there's nothing out there. It's stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I've never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn't want to hide in factories. That's all. Sorry for all the millions, but I've never been lonely. I like myself. I'm the best form of entertainment I have. Let's drink more wine!” 
― Charles Bukowski

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Digital Currency

With every passing time, technology moves one step forward. In the developed world or “rich world” as  Bill Gates would put it its recent advances in genetics and gene editing has led to some tremendous progress towards helping people in the developing or “poor world” especially in places like India and Nepal where medical costs are high.

Bill hacked into the computer world with the invention of Microsoft and BASIC (Beginners All Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code) which was the first operating system that ever got into mainstream personal computers.

Today the technology has a widespread impact not just in personal computer space but many other domains such as financial technologies also shortly called as fin-tech, education technologies also called ed-tech and biotechnologies, i.e. biotech.

In fin-tech space, the recent advances in Bitcoin have made a lot of countries and financial institutions nervous and worried. In short, Bitcoin is the currency of the Internet where the transaction between A to B happens on a distributed network where there is no central authority or entity.

Bitcoin was first invented a decade ago by a guy named Satoshi Nakamoto, a pseudonym that is anonymous till date. Back in those days if you would have bought Bitcoin at today’s market value that would have given you 5000% return. You would have become rich beyond your imagination.
Recently a friend of mine who is an avid Nepalese reader of news shared a news that Bitcoin exchange is illegal in Nepal. I smiled when I heard the news since Nepal falls in the basket of “poor world” according to  Gates and it shows how uneducated the regulators and policymakers in our country are, especially in case of how the technology is shaping our modern world, and it shows our reluctance and conservatism towards change.

Many countries in Europe, America and Africa have started trading Bitcoin. It is a new form of cash, but only digital, so there is no governing body like we are used to with most financial institutions. Since Bitcoin and digital currency is legal in India, Pakistan and China, I don’t see why it should be illegal here. It should by no means become unlawful since the transaction happens from party A to party B and the other parties who run the network get some share of money for making that trade happen.

I would suggest that Government officials should start making a plan and laws to make this digital currency legal in Nepal as soon as possible.

Published: The Himalayan Times 
A version of this article appears in print on November 08, 2017 of The Himalayan Times.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

When the earth beneath me moved

Jan 22, 2017- The first time I discovered that my father cared for me immeasurably was when we went hiking together.
I was home for the Chhath Parba and my father had decided to steal me away from my mother and the world for a little bit of dad-and-son time. Mother was not very happy with the idea; but father—after fighting a little—had managed to take me on a holiday.
That morning, as we checked out from the resort, it had begun to drizzle. For some reason my father spontaneously decided that the weather called for an adventure. Hence, we started hiking towards Kalika Daada.
I remember having stopped by a lunch spot where my father made me eat chicken, “It’s delicious and will take you right to the top,” he had said in jest. After lunch he called mother, but he didn’t tell her about our impulsive decision to climb uphill.  
I could tell my father had a knack for forecasting weather when the rain eventually died, and the sparse and feathery clouds slowly drifted away making way for clear blue sky. 
It was my first time hiking in the hills, and I was just learning to walk with one foot faced sideways for better grip. Every detail is still vivid in my mind—I could hear birds sweetly chirp from every corner of the lush green forest. Oh, they made such sweet sound and I got captivated for they were no less entrancing than psychedelic music. Everything was serene and perfect. It was only towards the end of the hike that we came across a landslide. It didn’t look so difficult to triumph over and I thought I could use the skills I had garnered over the last few hours to get past it.
Perhaps, my father had sensed my over-confidence because he had called out to me saying, “Be careful, gravity can’t be trusted—it will bring you down as it wishes.” I just smiled.
While crossing the landslide, I slipped a little towards the precipice. I was this close to death when my father grabbed my hand, pulled me right back on trail and told me to walk properly.
In that moment I had realised two things: first, how much my father loved me and second, how fragile life really is. I had completed the rest of my hike pondering upon how life was so much more succinct than one conceptualises—and much shorter for one to weigh and process its aspects properly.
Queue number 111 popped up on the police screen finally. The European police officer assisted me with my visa issue.
“How can I help you?”   
“I need to get back to Nepal immediately; my house collapsed in the earthquake and my father is trapped in the rubble.”
 “Okay, calm down. I’ll see what I can do. What’s your social security number?” After I gave her all my details, I waited for her to return with an answer. I already feared I would have to go great lengths to apply for a visa, and I’d have to wait at least two to three weeks to get the permit to go back home.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the police officer returned, and said, “You don’t require a visa to go to Nepal—it’s your homeland. You can go right away if you wish, but if you do, you cannot come right back to Europe.”
“What should I do?” I asked.
“You can leave your application here with us, but it would be better to reapply from Nepal. Of course, the official process might take a bit longer than usual,” she said.
I would have to travel home with the quickest option available. I went to visit Meher at her apartment and explained my situation as elaborately as possible.

“You must leave to see your father as soon as possible. Maybe things are not as bad as we hear, but you’ll not know until you reach home. May be your father is still hanging in there to see you for the last time,” she insisted.
I booked the first flight to Nepal the next day. At the airport, I mused at how time had passed me by as I aged. Going home now felt as difficult as going back to school after a summer vacation.
In the last ten years in Europe, my life had been a quest for happiness and harmony—living with my lovely girlfriend in her dreamlike apartment. Now, I was ready to throw it all apart just for one single glance of my father. I couldn’t tell for sure if he would make out of the rubble alive.
For most of my flight, I cried like a baby. With every passing moment, the realisation of how much I loved my father grew. He was my only hero, the only person that I worshipped, the only person that I ever looked up to. As I cried tirelessly, the cabin crew brought me drinks after drinks to help me calm. 
When a co-passenger asked me about my situation, I shared the whole story with him.
“I want to be able to tell my father how much I love him, that’s all I ask for,” I said.
“Do you love Nepal?” another passenger asked. 
“I don’t know how to put it. I have been away for the longest time, but yes, I love Nepal.”
By the time I reached what once used to be my home, the earthquake had devastated the whole region:  houses had collapsed, people had died and the populace was living in fear. In all these years away from home, never had I imagined such a horrid  homecoming. By the time my father was taken out of the rubble—everybody’s fear had also come true.
I didn’t get to tell him all the things I wish I could—I love you, I am sorry, I have missed you, or just goodbye.
The fact that a natural calamity so big had hit my home didn’t break my heart as much as the realisation of how I hadn’t communicated enough to my father did. What broke my heart is how I hadn’t spent enough time or energy making my parents feel loved—and now it was too late. I felt like I had lost so much time and there was no turning back.
I hadn’t bothered making time for my father because I thought I would never run out of time. I had forgotten about the hike and how life was so fragile.
That day, my father moulded into a butterfly, and the caterpillar spoke not of his beauty but his astonishing wilderness. I wished he’d stay back, but now he had wings.

Published: The Kathmandu Post

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Better Civic Infrastructure

As the monsoon season is underway, and there are several places inundated with potholes; various streets in the capital Kathmandu and the nearby municipalities are seen with waterlogged areas.
The garbage collected in manholes and the potholes become dangerous especially during evenings when there are no street lamps across the city.
The city’s garbage creates common problems for city dwellers who commute daily in their bicycle, motorcycle, car, taxi, and in other public transportation. The trash and potholes not only create havoc for the local people who commute but also give a somewhat pessimistic impression to tourists and foreigners who come to visit Nepal for the first time.
Passing through garbage collection places can also cause skin damage, malaria, dengue, and other forms of bodily diseases as murky water provides breeding grounds for insects, pests, and mosquitoes. Valley residents are worried about the growing number of gutters, drains, and potholes resulting from our unfavorable road conditions.
I have not seen anyone in the Kathmandu city who does not complain about the bumpy ride they get while traveling in their private vehicles to work or home.
Since the recent great earthquakes that took thousands of innocent lives and destroyed our homes, what have we done for the people who have suffered the most? Just false promises.
When other developing countries are already adopting a new method of expansion in improving their country’s economy, architecture and infrastructure in general to “smart cities” and “digital homes.”
I feel ashamed of seeing how the ordinary people of Nepal can be so naive and devoted to their political gatherings and parties. It is time to take charge and demand better civic infrastructure from all the concerned authorities.
In twenty-five years from now, given the same political set-up, I feel more pessimistic about my homeland because we cannot just pretend that our beloved cities resemble some exotic cities in Europe or Switzerland without working hard towards improving them.
In a nutshell, gone are those days when we contemplated our politicians would do greater good for our streets and cities.
A new country’s awareness campaign would be to create digital tools; e.g., apps, digital, and community-driven tools to highlight the gross oversight of the public officials, especially the government subcontractors and local municipalities.

A version of this article appears in print on August 09, 2016 of The Himalayan Times.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

YOGA — A Software Development Process Based On Ancient Principles

I found it very interesting to listen to Seth Winis (who is software development guru). He presented a very eloquent set of principles. David Weiss, long time researcher in software engineering and IEEE Fellow, encouraged Seth to publish his ideas on YOGA. David has worked in industry, such as Bell Labs, Avaya Labs, the Software Productivity Consortium, Computer Sciences Corp., in government, such as the Naval Research Laboratory and the Office of Technology Assessment, and in academia, where he was professor of software engineering at Iowa State University. He is now retired, with time to step back and inject some humor into his history in software engineering.

YOGA* is a software development process based on ancient principles and derived from many years of experience with software production and introspective research into and measurement of software production.

YOGA stands for You Only Go Ahead and its theme is to be forward looking. It consists of 10 basic commandments such as:
  • Ignore the past and only look ahead. Don't worry about repeating past mistakes.
  • Don't try to be rational. There is substantial evidence that there’s no such thing as a rational software production process. Think of yourselves as artists, free to create.
  • Each team member should meditate on his/her code for an hour every day. The purpose of the meditation is to become more enlightened about the code and coding. The goal should be to find a place in the code that the team member can modify today.
  • Strengthen your core. Your core developers are the ones who make 80% of the changes. Give them coding exercises to do and hold an occasional refactoring contest to see who can refactor fastest

Here are some Q/A ( (Taken from:

Q: Can you talk about Slide 17 more? What is NCSL? Was that a typo about off-shoring to project inexperienced group?
A: NCSL is non-commentary source lines of code, i.e., lines of executable code. Not a typo - it happened.

Q: So the idea behind not being rational is to not plan or plan as little as possible?
A: Plan for the unexpected.
Q: How do you promote innovation in a team capacity, rather focus on individualism - using Yoga?
A: Create a team where members respect each otber and encourage new ideas.

Q: What's the main purpose of a stand-up meeting every morning?
A: Team building, Change Selection, Status. It also encourages thought about what to do next and how to present it to others.

Q: How do you control the voting on changes, in order to avoid endless discussions about what is right or wrong to be done? Thanks!
A: In case of controversy or indecision, the senior, most respected team member has final say. Often the chief architect.

Q: Is there a "Witness Protection Program" for Software Gurus? :-)
A: Some create alter egos. Some create gangs of followers who drown out other opinions.
Q: How do you predict changes in software?
A: You can't predict every change, but can predict classes of changes, encode them as variabilities as in the FWS example. To help with prediction, review past changes, think about new technology, and changes in technology. For example, 10 years ago you could have predicted that disk drives would get bigger and faster and might have new protocols for access.

Q: The speaker reminds me of a Guru DMW :-)
A: I have great respect for DMW and often echo his opinions. We have much in common.

Q: How productive were you in rotations? Software is a thinking activity. What was the rate of change for peak performance?
A: Having backups for each team member is a continuing process. When a person becomes expert or senior in one area, rotate her to another area as part of the learning process.

Q: When an issue in a role appears, does everybody assist the actual person in the role?
A: Depends on circumstances, but generally, the backup for the person and perhaps a senior team member.

Q: What about the YAGNI principle in agile software methods in relation to Variability?
A: Start with the minimal useful subset, i.e., variabilities that have most initial value. Then implement next most useful variabilities. Etc. YAGNI is an oversimplified view of this.

Q: I understand how a business environment could change a person's focuses, but what situation would cause an outright descent in productivity? Couldn't you steer that with pay increases or job rotation? I have to ask more questions about slide 17.
A: Decay in morale can be caused by any of a number of reasons (company doing badly, best people leaving, etc.). Anecdote: I know a company where senior developers were told to train new, inexperienced, offshore developers and were told that they would be laid off after they completed the training. Not good for morale or productivity.

Q: How would you sustain tacit system "essential knowledge" with yoga through business decisions that "optimize" organizations through workforce reductions/retirements etc.?
A: The only real response is to maintain good documentation, particularly documentation that records essential decisions and knowledge. See "A Rational Design Process, How and Why To Fake It."

Q: YOGA has a resemblance of Agile methodologies. What are the key differences, for folks want to move from Agile?
A: YOGA encourages more forethought about architecture and potential changes, and encourages more team building; records key decisions and why they were made; tries to put people in a relaxed frame of mind where they can concentrate better.

Q: What do you do when two members of the team have high complaints for each other?
A: Separate them by giving them two distinct and different tasks to do. If one or both continue to ignore team goals in pursuit of local arguments or self-aggrandizement, fire him/her (or them).

Q: What is the exact link between "Salute the Sun" and software engineering?
A: Each requires careful and precise mind and body extension and the ability to look ahead and up.

Q: How well does the YOGA process work with multi-site projects?
A: Excellently. That is, in fact, the subject of a whole other lecture.

Q: What if the project has gaps of coding, design, and testing...then how does the principle of thinking about coding one hour each day hold? Also, rotating roles may mean waste of time.
A: Not sure what the gaps are - do you mean there may be intervals of inactivity between each? Thinking about coding (or testing or design for that matter) helps one to look ahead.

Q: How can one know what the future will require from a piece of software? The Standish Reports revealed that 60% of realized functionality wasn't even used.
A: You need to estimate the value of each variability and apply option theory (see above).

Q: When a new member joins the team, how do you sell them on the benefits of a "strum" meeting? Among other things, the guitar in the background for example.
A: Have other team members be welcoming. Have him/her play the guitar initially.

Q: I see YOGA as complementary to SCRUM/Agile. Where SCRUM/Agile focuses on the process and its artifacts, YOGA is more about the practices. Do you agree?
A: No. They are very different. See answer to number 14 (above).

Q: Any YOGA techniques to get over programmer's block (writer's block)?
A: Deep relaxation to clear and focus the mind. Sun salutations to focus the mind and keep active.

Q: [Do you have an] example of an artifact that is not normally used outside "YOGA in Software," for example in Risk?
A: Risk factor.

Q: What can a project manager take away from saluting the sun?
A: Who is flexible and who is not. Who has endurance and who has not. Who needs coaching and who does not. Is the PM up to standards on these aspects as well?

Q: Workforce reductions usually result in abandonment of the software system. Domain Analysis...commonality/variability analysis is useful...but doesn't necessarily prevent or slow the extinction process.
A: It does if the C/V analysis identifies most valuable features.

Q: How would you adapt these YOGA principles to distributed development teams?
A: That's another hour-long lecture. Architecture plays a key role.

Q: What are the success stories of using the YOGA approach?
A: Most companies are unwilling to disclose information about their software development processes, so I can't give specific examples.

Q: Have you been training/exercising this YOGA principle with all your development teams? And what about developer-"divas" who definitely feel too good for this training?
A: Yes, but it is a continuing work in progress. I have little patience for divas. If they want to, they can go work on their own. Of course, there have been some remarkable successes this way, but almost always the results are inherited by a larger team.

Q: Could you talk more about anticipating the future? This was the part of your talk with which I connected most, since I tend to define good software engineering and programming as being deeply connected to good prognostication of future changes.

A: Your connection is correct. See answers 7 and 14 above. There's another hour-long lecture on this topic. See also "The Modular Design of Complex Systems."

Q: Do you want everyone to have an implant?
A: Absolutely. Then I can control the whole human race! We can get around the limitations of our DNA.

Q: Is the YOGA Master included in the role switching?
A: Certainly.

Q: Is this applicable to a beginner software developer?
A: Yes. In fact, best to teach them YOGA in their first projects.

Q: Are Version Control Systems too tied to history to be used with the YOGA program?
A: No. You need them. How else to control changes?

Q: How can YOGA practices be integrated in the software development cycle?
A: Implement the practices described in my talk.

Q: I am a system administrator. I like networking and systems. Please give me advice from your experience to improve my skills and thinking capability so that I can grasp the concept effectively and fast
A: Read papers by David Parnas on requirements, architecture and design. Read about the GQM method for software measurement. Read Software Product Line Engineering by Weiss and Lai. Find a good mentor.

Q: How effective did you find rotation, and how often should it happen?
A: Very effective. I have seen it save projects, both in time and quality considerations.

Q: We actually had standup meetings where we required the project manager to stand on one leg, because they would otherwise become too long. No kidding.
A: Excellent and very consistent with YOGA. You are forward thinkers.

Q: How effective did you find rotation, and how often should it happen?
A: Very effective. I have seen it save projects, both in time and quality considerations.

Q: I arrived late, but I heard you talking about an interesting paper. Can you please state the title of the paper? Thanks.
A: There were several interesting papers and books that I mentioned. See the source references on the slides.

Q: One of the things that happened to me at yoga class was at relaxing time [when] I fell asleep. That too helped me refresh... Would you recommend cat naps at some point of the day (not necessarily at the meeting which happens...)?
A: Falling asleep during deep relaxation sometimes happens to those new to yoga, sometimes because the yoga session is too physically intense and tiring, sometimes because the yoga teacher does not properly emphasize what the student should be trying to do during relaxation. Cat naps [are ok] only if the person is not getting enough sleep at night, which may be an indication of other troubles.

Q: When rotating roles, how much impact does it have on schedule initially?
A: If no one has ever taken a different role before, and it is a new project, and the developers are inexperienced, it can have some schedule impact, I think. In such a situation there will be schedule impact anyway from these factors.

Friday, January 1, 2016

New year’s wishes

I do not know what are you ruminating on for the new year. Despite, I would like to tell you what are my wishes for the upcoming new year 2016. Nearly everybody would like to see an end of an ongoing Madhes crisis, and people to live a healthy life. I wish everyone will look beyond the boundaries of caste and ethnicity and live above nationalism. For those who do not know about nationalism - it is a doctrine that emanated as a reaction to anarchist ideologies during nineteenth-century that has core roots of authoritarian politics. 

Nationalism has led to largest known catastrophes in human history.  I wish our incompetent government will start to distribute and accord more to those who were severely affected by the great earthquake. Einstein was right when he said, “Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.” The nationalism that is merely bounded with provincial mentality impedes the significant concerns facing humanity. 

I  hope that people will fight for their freedom with the ruling parties of this country, and the Government will address the demands of an agitating parties and hopefully, amend the constitution and make it flexible enough for agitating parties. In doing so, those who are marginalized Dalits, Janjatis, Tharus, and Madhesis especially will feel equal citizens of the country, and can partake in new constitution 2072. 

Whoever is responsible for closing schools and colleges in our country should think twice before shutting down the schools in the new year. I wish schoolgoers would be allowed to get a good education without the hindrance of any political parties. I also wish that our industries will frequently run in any parts of the country without any bandh or political blockade. 

My sources inform me how dire and miserable our life has become (lack of cooking gas, no gasoline for travel, lack of electricity crisis, and the rise of the black market economy). We have no energy and synergy to dethrone those political pundits in power. I hope to see these politicians look beyond their personal self-interest and work towards fulfilling goals and aims of ordinary people.  However, if wishes were horses; beggars would ride long. 

In summing-up, I know it is not easy to achieve our goals simply by wishing for them. Most of my fellow countrymen would agree with me that they would like to see a substantial decrease in the black market economy, and a dramatic increase in investment, reduction in road accidents, and a dramatic improvement in education standards. As the year will end and the new year brings fresh hope and aspirations, I wish there will be a less political game, and contemplation around, and more development, and concrete actions plans, and implementations. A little dusting of understanding for the New Year will do more good than harm. Wishing you a prosperous and Happy New Year 2016. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

My time with Kale

Oct 18, 2015- The mayor of Ratnanagar Municipality was riding down the street in his black sports utility vehicle. He ran over my dog, Kale. 

After the ceremony, I walked back to the city. Of course, I was depressed. I started to think about how I had first met Kale. It was seven years ago, when he was a puppy. He was like a baby. He never complained. My father had a fondness for Kale, too. He was such a captivating dog—my new dog, a fine great one with a black tail, delicate ears, a rich texture, charming eyes and a wilderness of patchy colours that lit up in his body like sunshine. 

He was like a member of the family; we loved him and petted him. No one tried to give him a new name like ‘Tiger’ or ‘Rocky’ or ‘Hunter’. Friends and relatives even started to call me ‘Kale ko ba’ (‘Kale’). I suspect that they were just trying to rile me up and show some type of dominance. I didn’t care so much. My name was not Kale, after all. 

The servants in our house were all kind to me and were fond of Kale. So, as you can see, mine was an easy life with Kale around. My sweet little Kale, my “very dearest puppy”, as some people would call him, made my happiness perfect. 

My time with Kale began on a hot Sunday in summer. I was at a Chitwan cricket ground—perhaps playing in a district-level tournament between Ratnanagar and Narayanghat. 

Father had gone to Kathmandu to see some of his old friends, and when he returned in the evening, he bought a surprise gift for my little brother, Dhorji. We children had never contemplated getting a pet, and our mother had never liked the idea. So when I went home in the evening after winning the game against Narayanghat and celebrating a bit with friends, I saw everyone in the family talking to a Kale. They were uttering words like, ‘Kale aija. Chu chu, Kale’. I asked Dad why he had brought home such a small dog and whom it was meant for. Dad didn’t respond. I had been late in arriving for the doggy party that evening.

The next morning, I saw Dhorji playing with Kale. The previously unknown dog had already been given a name by Dhorji and Father. So I was left with no choice but to call him Kale. I don’t know why Dhorji, who is just five years old, so enjoyed gathering his phucchhe friends and giving Kale stuff to eat and play with. He and his friends even smiled and touched Kale’s body without hesitation. I don’t know why phucchhes are never afraid of anything, but even when they got a bit closer to Kale they would shout aloud, which must have terrified Kale.

Dhorji was allowed to keep Kale in his room most of the time. I wasn’t even allowed to touch Kale—Father always reminded me whom the dog had been bought for. ‘He’s not your toy,’ he said angrily. So it was not my toy, but somehow I felt deep affection for Kale, and he felt the same for me. I still remember when my grandfather died. Kale was around then, and people could not believe that he had stayed in Aryaghat and never, it seemed, intended to leave. It was the talk of the town, and people gossiped about Kale (‘Kukur’), saying that he was very loyal to our family. There were hundreds of mourners at my grandfather’s funeral service, and Kale ambled up to near the funeral pyre and lay down next to it for seven days.

Kale knew that I had affection for him when I freed him from Dhorji’s captivity to meet the love of his life. When he saw Kali during Kukur Tihar, he studied my eyes and, with his tongue hanging out, immediately rushed to her. 

Kali was just like Kale, but a bit shorter, and with less hair on her body than him. She had very nice ears and longish legs, though.  

“Where are you, Kali?” shouted Ms Sabina Dhakal, Kali’s owner. When she saw my Kale panting and making love to Kali, Ms Sabina started shouting at me.  

‘Grow up!’ I said. ‘They have needs, like us! Let my Kale enjoy his freedom and fulfil his doggy needs, with careful attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort. Let him be able to truly care about his own life, making love in myriad, pretty little sexy ways, every day, to your Kali’. 

“That’s Kale getting married in Kartik, and that too to Kali…” laughed a neighbour, seeing Kale and Kali.  

“That dog is shameless. Ram… Ram… Ram. Hare Krishna,” said a passing Hindu priest.  

“Untangle them,” said a young man, pelting my Kale with a stone.  

“You did this purposefully, didn’t you?” said Sabina, staring at me angrily. “I’ll show you and your Kale someday,” she continued.

She was really pissed off by the sight of my Kale mating with her Kali; however, my Kale was not in any mood whatsoever to stop making love to Kali. Sabina vanished from my sight in a flash, murmuring some bizarre words that hardly made any sense then.

It’s astounding how the festival season passes so quickly. Some neighbours were really aggravated that we had Kale in our house. They were a bit afraid, but this was understandable as Kale was very hyperactive and often became ebullient. Once a neighbour’s uncle shouted at Father, saying that Kale might be dangerous to his newborn son.

“Give your dog a preventive injection. He might be of danger to my new-born son; otherwise I’ll kill your Kale dog,” he said.   

It was really unfortunate that this neighbour’s uncle and his baby son had been killed in an airplane crash, but that was not our Kale’s fault. 

After Kale’s death, I saw Dhorji’s friends talking about their memories of Kale:  

“It was only few months ago when Kale was with us, and now he is gone,” said Dhorji.  

“Kale had the biggest personality ever,” said Dhorji’s friend. “I really miss him,” said Dhorji’s best friend.  “Until the very end, we were together,” said Dhorji.

On that fateful day, I put on my coat and hat and started off to the market. I knew that the back door was open, and I could get outdoors without being seen. I got my Kale ready, because I was going to take him too. I checked for my wallet and found that it wasn’t in the back pocket of my denim jeans, so I went upstairs to fetch it from my room. When I got back, I saw Kale lying on the street with blood all over. Father had gone to file a police report about Kale’s death. I saw him near the city’s central police station riding on his Hero Honda bike. He saw me too, but he looked elsewhere. I knew why he was frustrated. Maybe it was I who should be blamed for Kale’s accident. What if I had simply gone to the market without my wallet? Why did I have to go to the market at that time? “I am the one responsible for Kale’s death,” I thought.

He was a good dog. I learned a lot from him, especially through his loyalty and kindness to our family. His friendship was truer than today’s so-called ‘Facebook friends,’ where you collect thousands of them while communicating with only a few. At least my Kale was with me in real settings, in my house, together with me always. I could share my jokes, sorrow, sadness, happiness, and stories with him when there was nobody around to turn to. Now that he was gone, I didn’t know whether my life would be the same.

After hitting Kale, the mayor got out of his car and looked at the scene that he had created with his brand-new SUV. His black boots were shining in the hot summer day, where my poor Kale lay bloody, legs broken, dead.  

“Is he still alive?”

I remained silent. I didn’t know how to respond to such a bizarre question.  

“It was a stupid dog, so it died stupidly, like a dog,” said an inspector who was the mayor’s bodyguard. 

“Darling, isn’t this the one?” he said to someone inside the SUV. 

I saw a girl wearing a pink frock getting out of the vehicle. My eyes looked up from Kale and remained wide open for a while.

Published: The Kathmandu Post
fiction park
Posted on: 18-10-2015 09:10