Sunday, October 26, 2008

I just died

How would you describe a moment of complete depression? Is a fight between a husband and a wife? Is it a mental illness? Is it because of habit which is killing you? Now when you have defined the depression- define just the opposite of it, you will feel good inside you.

This is very normal procedure to forget that you are really suffering from something which is not healthy. A curiosity of finding the unknown might lead you to kill yourself. It happens too many of the people in the world. Today for example, I was listening to the breaking news. The news says that, “South Korean famous actor killed herself”. What a tragic story. South Korea has highest number of suicide rate than any other countries around the globe.

There is likely that more suicide will happen and occur in the days to come. Why are we killing ourselves? Is it because we know the unknown or is it because we just are coward and do not want to struggle in our life. It might be both. Last year, if I remember I just died. I thought I will not survive but again, I thought well- I should. I just died in the arms of someone and then I forget to wake up again.

This I is not me. This I am some one who is inside me. He claims that he still exists till the time before the real I was born. Do not get psycho about these. I know you are kind of confused with all these sentences and there illogical connections but you should accept the fact that, there was this guy called I who was inside me. He still is inside me. He is my stupid friend. He says many ideas to me very easily. He does not feel scared about anything. He is not afraid of death or fear of death. He just knows that he can easily kill himself whenever he wants himself to be killed. He ha brilliant mind and he is far from the perfect. He is absolutely perfect.

One night he told me this story, he says to me while I was in the bed that- Hi dear, Wake up ! Wake up! I got to tell you something. I said, “What is it?” He then told me, about him. He was living somewhere in the Island near the beautiful lake with his beautiful wife. He loved her and she did too. One night as they were sleeping in the jungle, he saw a dream. The dream was about him being given another work to take care of me. He has to leave his wife and come to see me. He opened his eyes and saw that he just died on the arms of her wife. After couple of hours, his wife waked him up. He told the dream to his wife. His wife could not believe in his dreams. She said, “Do not worry”. The day you will die, and the day you will go to take care of that man. I will be coming to meet you as well.

Later night, the guy slept and finally he died in the arms of his wife. Early in the morning, wife realized that his husband have really seen a truthful dream. She then, closed her eyes and after a while- she died too. The two dead bodies are still in the same jungle in the same island. I asked this stupid friend of mine- why he is telling the story to me. He said, “I just died my dear friend so that today I can take care of you”. The girl whom you are calling wife is not yours wife but she is mine. She is coming close to you as you are thinking she is yours. I could not understand what this stupid friend was trying to say to me but I just closed my eyes without the fear of being dead. I thought and re-thought stating that, I just died. I hear d the voice- the voice was sounding as if it is of some women. She said, “How can you die, when you are alone”? “Decide to die in my arms, with me together” Whatever it might cost- it will be our starting point of this ending, my dear! Wake me up, when you will have another assignment to do and have to take care of someone again!

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