Closed

Life teaches you thousand lesson at every moment of the time. We do not actually realize it. It is just the matter of self-realization rather than asking with some one else about it. Every doors are closed for me. I am alone. I am empty and hollow.

I do not want to blame others because I know I have learn some lessons in life that is close to me and my heart. I really want to thank from the bottom of my heat to those who are helping me for my cause and will help me (as I need them badly).

Today I will give you an example of going to the shopping mall. Me and one of my friend we decided to go to shopping mall but the unfortunately the shopping mall was also closed. I think it was the time of evening at around 6pm and it was the closing time. Therefore It was closed. I was trying to connect my laptop to the local visible network available for all but it was also closed.

Everything that seems to me which was open is closed. No doors open for me anymore. I am alone and hollow, empty with me and my loneliness. I am being some kind of pessimistic because of my lack to maintain the relationship. I could not some how maintain the relationship with any one around me. I don't know any reason for it. I am not good at maintaining any sort of relationship Sometimes it makes me even more nervous and afraid.

I am going into deep silence because I know my problems would be with me and me alone. I am going into deep silence because the problems what i am facing is created by me and i am the one who has to find some solutions for it. Others around me will give me advice which are like giving lecture in boring Monday morning.

It does not mean that i am trying to focus or hurt on any body or any person but it means I am alone and i do not have anything to tell anyone. I am living in darkness and the sunlight yet has to show up to me. Only thing I know now is-" I don't know when ?"