Phobia of a sort

Each morning, when I wake up, there is a passionate desire and energy in my veins to improve the world and enjoy zillion moments of so-called simple human life. But, it is extremely difficult to make successful plans on any given day and not everything is in our control.

It was bright, and sunny, clear blue sky above somewhere very high in the sky. Looking outside my glassy window, I was just thinking if I would ever make it to the earth and, whenever the whisper was “maybe”, I felt much more terrified. 

This morning was different as I woke up thousands of feet above the ground level hovering, within my airplane’s back seat. There was a flight entertainment system that displayed distance to destination and estimated arrival time, and I was simply looking at it. As a Nepali engineer, the problems that I am trying to solve might not create ‘ripple effect’ in the entire universe, nor will it be covered by major media outlets, and who cares if I am simply terrified 5,000 feet above the ground level. 

I know nobody cares, but I do care about my fear. While flying, I cannot simply hover around and look at the scenic beauty of clouds, but I always find myself mixed between these non-linking thoughts. There is a sense of anxiety while flying, which I was trying to smoothen with my life’s uselessness. Not only am I filled with ‘what if’ questions but also with the sense of tremendous fear and lonesomeness. Some alarming questions that pop-up in my mind: what happens if I die flying; what if I will never land on the ground; what happens to my life’s earnings; what happens to my poor family; who will take care of my beloved wife and what not.

No way, it was not my first flying experience. Many people suffer from the fear of flying. People say that they are fearful when they are inexperienced and when they travel more, it just transforms into a habit, and then they feel less anxious. However, my journey into the air has always just been the opposite. Unlike those who never fear flying, I have been most fearful while flying. There are unnecessary thoughts and feelings that are extremely difficult to eradicate. No one is left alone, either in the sky or on land. Everybody is part of this big Mother Nature, and we have to adjust our feelings based on the changing circumstances and requirements. Some consolation comes from reading recent flight traffic data: more than 30 million people fly every day. Indeed, I am not alone. 

Roosevelt once pointed out that the “only thing we have to fear is the fear itself.” But every time I think of flying modern commercial airlines, I feel humankind has transformed.

Published: The Himalayan Times

Life’s like that

JAN 03 -
When I was a child, they told me that Nepal had big potential in hydropower. Now when I am adult, I realise that what they teach in theory and what is realised in practice are quite contrary. In a country where there the sun smiles all around the year, power cuts and load-shedding have aroused only problems for all. I am frustrated with power cuts. My resolutions are like dark empty muddy vessels. They contain neither water nor air; they are filled with subjective experiences of humankind such as dreams, hopes and aspirations.

Some of my friends have said that they may give up smoking or alcohol, which seems to be rather good news. They also wish to visit luxurious holiday spots like Pokhara or Chitwan. As far as I am concerned, I do not necessarily have any plans. What would I do with my personal plans when problems associated with me and my country are increasing every day? Many can use power backup systems such as inverters, batteries and generators to solve the energy crisis. But for those who cannot afford them, they just have to wait patiently and pray for a miracle.

If you go over religious books, darkness in every scripture is regarded as evil. Darkness is not only mere absence of light, it is presence of light unseen by our eyes. Moreover, what our eyes do not see is always hard to believe. How am I supposed to believe that someday my motherland will have no crisis? Many scholars, scientists and researchers have taught us to live on a moment and enjoy life. The Buddha taught that suffering is inevitable; no one escapes from the burden of suffering. Einstein said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I think I should go rather easy on whatever comes along in my life. In my opinion, problems and people associated with one’s country are the same. It is important to note that we are not only facing electricity problems but also many social, economic and technological problems. We cannot avoid the problems of our country or our individual problems. I hope that during the year that has just started, we can see some light in the darkness.

A friend asked, “What do I wish for the new year?” And I said, “I wish to learn effectively that life is short so that I will love unconditionally, smile regularly, regret nothing, listen carefully, laugh aloud, live strongly, burn candles, share happiness and waste no time. Most importantly, I also wish the same for everybody and their motherland.”

Posted on: 2012-01-04 09:59

Published: The Kathmandu Post

TB or not TB

This stage in my life is called “taking drugs”. I am taking drugs, not illegal drugs, but medicinal drugs that are vital to eradicate tuberculosis. Wow, good for you, mate, that is what smoking can cause you.

On the one hand, we can always enjoy smoking cigarettes and a number of other drugs like marijuana and other illegal pills and drugs; but on the other hand, this causes severe lung damage.

So be it.

According to my highly acclaimed Finnish doctor, I am now at a stage where my lungs have been infected by bacteria known as Mycobacterium tuberculosis. The good old doctor suggests that the bacteria can be contracted in several ways, not only by smoking fancy cigarettes. You can get it by coming into contact with air droplets from sneezing and coughing by infected people. Despite many causes, I can only point my finger at smoking because that one has lasted for 18 good years. And I know many folks out here who do it for fun and to share the enjoyment or to pass the time. Although I want to recommend stopping or reducing smoking, I fear you will not because I did not too.

Some years ago, I wrote an article in the Post Platform entitled, “I used to smoke”. In the article, I clearly mentioned the ups and downs of smoking; but I think many things have changed since then. Everyday, people smoke, and cigarette companies are bringing out new brands of cigarettes with skillful marketing.

A majority of the people got into the smoking habit at a very young age. When I started, I was just seven or eight years old. Later on, it became an everyday habit (addiction, I would say) with friends admiring the techniques and the beautiful ways in which the smoke would come out of the mouth. Adults too find it rather fascinating when they see Bollywood or Hollywood actors smoking in a movie.

As I can see for myself, mind you, smoking is, was and will be never cool. There is a good old saying in Nepali, “Ki parera janinchha, ki padhera janinchha” (one learns by doing or by reading). I hope that you will learn from my bitter experience that smoking gives more pain in the long term than it does in the short enjoyment of a puff. Our government has also introduced a new regulation banning smoking in several public places that is highly appreciated. Although many pundits would argue about that issue, I personally appreciate the government’s move to ban smoking in public places.

Life teaches us many lessons we need to survive. Among many other lessons, one lesson I have learnt and can never forget wholly is “never smoke again, during my poor and painful lifespan”.

Published: The Kathmandu Post

Source: ekantipur.com
Posted on: 2011-06-24 08:23

Santosh Kalwar's Sixteenth Book, Entitled "Adventus," is Published

In his latest book, entitled, "Adventus," a young Nepalese writer from Chitwan, Nepal has published collection of poems.

Lappeenranta, Finland, May 29, 2011 --(PR.com)-- Lulu Press, Inc. is proud to present "Adventus" by Santosh Kalwar from Lappeenranta, Finland.

Adventus is a collection of forty-three randomly crafted poems. The masterly Nepalese poet spins from Rocky Mountains to personal relationships, rich in every human detail through his musings. "…I discovered that I am two steps behind Buddha. If I can overcome love then surely I can overcome suffering. As it was neither she, nor me who decided to go against," says the poet to her beloved. A galaxy of startling poems entitled, "poem of my love," "In America," "journey," "a never-ending song" and many more.

Santosh Kalwar (born September 7, 1982) works as a poet, writer, and young researcher.

Kalwar is an author of fifteen published books, entitled, "Nature God (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2008), Human behavior on the Internet (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), A Very First Book of Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), ...109 Quotes, 07 Poems, and a song of despair (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009)..., 20 Love Poems and Economy Crisis (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), 25 Sexy Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), Yet another book of Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), Happening: Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. 2010), I Am Dead Man Alive (PublishAmerica Inc., 2010), You Can (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010), An Aphrodisiac (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010), The Warrior (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010), Obscurity (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010) and The Vandana and Other Poems (Cyberwit.net., 2010), Quote Me Everyday (Lulu Press, Inc., 2010).

ISBN 978-1-4477-2907-5

To place orders for the book, contact: Lulu Press, Inc.

URL: lulu.com/product/paperback/ adventus/15840834

###

The continuous affair

Two things drive human motion: evolution and revolution. I am not so much worried about human evolution, but I am worried about human revolution. It seems to unfold slowly but steadily. Signs and symptoms of people acting revolutionaries in pre-historic times and post-historical times, against dictators, kings and rulers, can be identified. It all has come to change the status quo, with hopes of a better future, hopefully.

As Darwin had pointed out, we are all evolving creatures. And, to my mind we all are revolutionary creatures as well. No, it is not ridiculous to think so. If you were an addictive newsreader (like me), you would know of global events like the Egyptian revolution, and Mubarak quitting. Of course, Tunisian event preceded that. Now, Libya, Bahrain, Yemen, Oman and Iran are facing the same crisis. Dictatorship is NOT going to work in tech-savvy, social media bound twittering world. I personally believe that people have more power than politicians or leaders in today’s digital workspace. It had always been the people power, not the political power, running any great nation or territory. A mandate for common rule or protocols is only possible if the majority of the people vote for it democratically, peacefully.

Today, if all Nepalese citizens gather to fight for their basic rights such as food, electricity, clothes, jobs, social security, and privacy, nobody can stop them. The people have proved themselves many times in the past, so the political bosses must act sincerely taking them into consideration.

With the world population hitting the seven billion milestone, problems are bound to multiply the world over. I envision a world where there would be less value for art, words and self-respect. There would be more value for oil, food, technology, safety, security, and balance. As a young scientist, ‘balance’ is not to be worried about as Nature wouldl balance herself in some ways (climate change, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, meteor strikes etc).

If the people’s needs are unfulfilled, a revolution will simply begin at any point in time. Nothing remains forever, as everything is finite.

As the wise man said, “Every beginning has an end and every end has a new beginning.” This is what makes the human beings look forward to something better.


Source: The Himalyan Times
Published: 02-March-2011

What is modern

JAN 12 - 

What is modern

Anil Bhattarai’s latest article was a nice read and I hope he continues to write with this improved presentation (“We are all modern,” Jan. 11, Page 6). As Bhattarai wrote, we may envision New Nepal and write flowery text to highlight a modern Nepal, but the bitter truth belies us. While modernity has meant bungalows and Pajeros to some powerful people, many Nepalis are still without two square meals a day. We cannot solve Nepal’s problems with grand statements of being the next Switzerland or Singapore in ten years, but we can follow the author’s direction to initiate small and feasible improvements. We are constantly thinking about big changes, like in education, healthcare and business. But the only way to initiate any change is by doing the little things right.  Being modern means different things to different people. Not only our politicians have the right to modernity. Average Nepalis can be modern by being accountable for their actions.

Santosh Kalwar

Ratnanagar, Chitwan

Source: The Kathmandu Post

Letter to the Editor

I laughed

Source: Sesam Production

hometown

I was born in the heart of the Jungle.

I was raised in a UNESCO world heritage site.

I do not know why you asked

but I know my answers will raise many eyes.

In the world full of intellectual animals,

you will not easily find the right insight.

Because, vanity kills us

while we are awake in the sunlight.

Well, my hometown

is called “Chitwan”

And I hope you will feel delight.

a poem

Who are you to dare and not share?

Maybe you are not here to care.

Then why are you talking to me.

Because I am your clock running downhill

Build ’Em and They’ll Come

One comment was made for an article entitled, "Build ’Em and They’ll Come" at Nytimes.

Dear Sir,
Well, it does not matter weather it is million or billion what matters is spending. Especially in terms of research and innovation. Many Asian giants such as Singapore, Japan, Korea among others have spent hefty amount of money for research and they are still doing so. If there is no money in the research, you are bound to get no results or not so good results. The fact that entire world is running for "energy or green energy" is quite understandable since we lack them. However, by spending only on one sector cannot solve the problem. The spending should be proper and vigilant. The decisions of spending should be accountable dime by dime. Otherwise, there is no rhyme(innovation) coming from anywhere to anyplace.
Thank you !
 
Published here

Animal CRUELTY

Alexandra Delaney’s concern with animal rights and mass killings of buffaloes and goats during Dashain is legitimate and I understand how these acts could upset a true vegetarian (“Seeing red,” Oct. 12, Page 7). However, I do not agree with her statement about Nepal being “superstitious”.

Every country has a cultural legacy and religious practices for reasons that I don’t believe fall under the category of superstition, something that a religious scholar should understand. Her concluding quote of Ghandi—“every country can be judged based on how women and animals are treated”—also includes countries in the West where there are thousands of animals killed every day, often inhumanely. Why do only developing nations have to be picked for censure?

Santosh Kalwar

Ratnanagar, Tandi, Chitwan

Published: Letter to the Editor
The Kathmandu Post
Source: ekantipur

Random thoughts/ideas

• You are not royal by blood, you are royal by thoughts.




• There are no words which cannot rhyme. No sorrows have crime. Let her soul twinkle and accept whatever passes in her time.



• All our ideas are absurd.



• I am going long way and I know you don’t know which ways.



• Nothing can exist without conflict. If you’re present time is without conflict, your future will be with conflict and vice versa.



• If nothing happens in life, then the time is slowly coming to an end.



• A true definition of man is not how many years he lives but how many experiences he seeds.



• In three words, I will tell you where to find true happiness. “IT’s NOT HERE.

Death Show

He was dead. Undoubtedly, a prolific writer, poet, and unsuccessful engineer, is being buried today in the graveyard near the mountain cliff of Santana. A large crowd in hundreds gathered to pay him homage. A media guy asks people about the dead man.

“A very generous character and very witty,” said a young man. “He was good novelist and his books have touched the hearts and minds of millions of people,” said a young man.

“Why are you saying those things to media they already know much about him, you should better speak about his character, not only about quantity of books that he sold,” said an old man.

“Who cares what I speak and how I speak, I don’t give a shit about that dead man anymore,” said a young man.
A media guy has to censor such violent words so he moved on to another lady. A media guy asks, “In your opinion, what do you think about this dead man?”

“I don’t think, I feel pain,” she said.

“Why is that?”

“Someday, I will also die and there will be no one who will telecast my death show.”

Quotes

--Nobody can change the end because nobody knows the beginning.




--We know that we won't be here so we share.



--Love all and respect all simply because hundred years from now, you will be OUT OF STOCK.



--Selfishness is an act of heavy indulgence for materialistic possessions.



--Destiny is destination driven by passion, love, care, respect, honor, share and virtue.





God bless you all !

Review for "Quote Me Everyday"

Rating: 4 Stars


"Santosh Kalwar most recent book is a series of quotes. There is one for everyday of the year. From January 1st through December 31st the reader will find a collection that includes inspiration, positive thinking and words of wisdom. After reading quotes and mind evoking thoughts by such notables as Gandhi, Einstein, Shakespeare, Norman Vincent Peale and others, the author set out on his own journey of writing a book of quotations. One of my favorites through the book is from May 11th.

"It does not matter how much you receive, it matters when you learn to give."

There is a quote for everyone for at least one day of the week, month or year in Santosh Kalwar's newest book "Quote Me Everyday.""
 
--Reviewed by Readers Favorite (Debra Gaynor, Founder of ReadersFavorite.com )

Press releases: Quote Me Everyday

In his latest book, entitled, "Quote Me Everyday," a young Nepalese writer from Chitwan, Nepal has published collection of inspirational, motivational and life changing quotes for each day of the year.




Lappeenranta, Finland, October 04, 2010 --(PR.com)-- Lulu Press, Inc. is proud to present "Quote Me Everyday" by Santosh Kalwar from Lappeenranta, Finland.



Quote Me Everyday is collection of quotes for each day of the year. There are remarkable quotes for positive thinking, motivation, and inspiration. The author, master of quotes, has collected some of his inspiring words of wisdom into meaningful craft. This treasure will surely incite readers from all corners of globe. Anyone can pick up this book and learn each day of the year. There are quotes for every day so is the name Quote Me every day.





Kalwar is an author of fourteen published books entitled, "Nature God (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2008), Human behavior on the Internet (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), A Very First Book of Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), ...109 Quotes, 07 Poems, and a song of despair (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009)..., 20 Love Poems and Economy Crisis (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), 25 Sexy Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), Yet another book of Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2009), Happening: Poems (Lulu Press, Inc. 2010), I Am Dead Man Alive (PublishAmerica Inc., 2010), You Can (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010), An Aphrodisiac (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010), The Warrior (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010), Obscurity (Lulu Press, Inc. , 2010) and The Vandana and Other Poems (Cyberwit.net., 2010).



ISBN 978-1-4461-1863-4



To place orders for the book, contact: Lulu Press, Inc.



URL: lulu.com/product/paperback/quote-me-everyday/12930584

Random ideas

• Only if you are possible, everything will be possible.
• Her sharp eyes, bold lies, there is no need to feel alive.
• In every step that you will take, learn to feel delight and pain.
• Keep your loved ones close and strangers closer.
• You are what you think, eat, pray, love and share.
• No matter how clever you are, you cannot avoid your enemies.
• A strong gives forgiveness but weak gives permission.
• Experience is more important than knowledge.
• You created yourself and you will destroy yourself.
• You cannot argue with women without her consent.
• There are several theories on sex and all of them are lies.

• A heart has problems which mind cannot understand.

People & beliefs

This is with reference to the article by Dr Ramesh Khatry "Fakers & followers" (Sept 27). It is true that there are many fake babas, pundits, and shadus in our country. Interestingly, it is easier to fool believers than non-believers. I really agree with the writer that we Nepalis want to believe in something. As a matter of fact, majority of people on earth tend to have faith on something.

Once people start believing in something, it later turns into a cult, sect or religion. There is nothing wrong in having a belief in something or someone, but it may confine one to a small world. That was probably why Gerry Spence once said, " I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." Speaking in line with this quote, it can be a good idea to listen to all religious pundits who claim to be something. However, at the same time, validity and verification must be taken into account.

Published: My Republica
Letter to the Editor

Where are you, my love?

Where are you, my love?

Are you in paradise?

Milking white cow

And listening tunes of birds


Or are you in your room

Listening heavy metal

And smoking marijuana


Or are you in your library

Reading words of love, seeking

Knowledge and wisdom


Or are you in hell?



Selling your body

Satisfying unwise men


Or are you heartbroken

And trying to find me

or Someone just like me

To fulfil your aloneness


Are you near that lake?

Where we spent long hours

Fishing and reading poetry


Tell me my love

Where are you?


Maybe right now,

You are in me


I know you are in me

You are God’s divine creation


And I feel your smell

In every petals of the red flowers




And I feel your light

With every morning

When there is sunrise


And I feel your body

Every night when I go to bed


But I repeat my beloved,

Where are you?



This poem has been submitted for publication to, Linguaphobous Journal

The Day Lunatic die

The Day Lunatic die

And I do not know why

Maybe he was sick

Maybe he had fully lived

And I do not know why

Everyone hated him

Everyone wanted to kill him

He died unnaturally

And nobody knew why

People regretted his death

People said, “Oh, so sad…”

Eventually, a woman arrived

And she said, “Thanks God…,

…I will bear less pain”

Suspense all over his life

And speculation all over his death

Poor lunatic finally rested

In peace

Before his departure someone said,

He wrote a piece

It read:

The day lunatic died