This Year, I feel like starting to live again. I feel like making the mistakes I always wanted to make, but never had the courage to, facing up to the feelings of panic that might well come back, but whose, presence will merely weary me, since I know I'm not going to die or faint because of them. I can make new friends and teach them not to follow the manual of good behavior but to discover their own lives, desires, and adventures and to LIVE. I'll quote from Ecclesiastes to the Catholics, from Koran to the Muslims, from the Torah to the Jews, from Aristotle to the atheists. I never want to be a Professional again, but I can use my experience to give lectures about men and women who knew the truth about this existence of ours and whose writing can be summed up in one word: Live. If you live, god will live with you. If you refuse to run his risks, he'll retreat to that distant heaven and be merely a subject for philosophical speculation. For a time in my life I stood looking at the wind, I forget to sow, I did not live joyfully, and I did not even drink the wine offered me. But this New Year 2008, I judge myself ready. There are people who spend their entire lives searching for a moments but hardly they achieve it. That's why if I were to die now, I would die with heart full of love. I want to feel the rain on my face, to smile at any women I feel attracted to. I want to kiss my mom and dad, tell them I love them, weep in their lap, unashamed of showing my feelings, because they were always there. If an interesting women invites me out to a club, I'll accept,& I'll dance all night until I drop. I want to give myself to one women, to the city, to life and, finally, to my death.
Taken from: “Veronica decides to die” by Paulo Coelho
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