Friday, May 23, 2008

Long long day

A good painful morning startup, just woke up in from the low bed of mine. It was very painful in the legs, thighs, and even the some part of lungs. With all the very pain I woke up thinking today is the day and there are many stuffs to work out for. It is not easy as it looks easy to survive.

First task was to reach the university and do the blood test. These blood test that I have been doing for last couple of weeks is very scary. They put a big syringe in your middle of arm and some times they even say you that, "Your veins are very small, I could not find it". With the movement of syringe from on place to next they make you feel as if you are really sick.

However, It is for your benefit and it is good to follow the rules when you are benefited. Therefore I started a day with the blood test. Although I was fortunate to eat something, and one peace of boiled eggs it was good. Just after the morning breakfast, it was a time to start the day.

Now I went to University gave a blood test. The result showed it was a bit higher then expected. She gave me good suggestions, and tips on what to do and what not to do. It was asked to take the X-ray test in the center or city center. I do not want to take X-ray test but I have to because it will show my bones and the real picture which will try to explain what is the important.

Then My mind asks me to visit to the center just because I had to renew my visa for the next academic session. I went to the Bank and took the statement that was required for the Visa, finally I went to Police Station where they renew the Visa. The procedure took place and it worked out well.

Finally I had to visit the Posti Office for the training of the work. I went to the Office and started to work out in Training session. It was fun. It was interesting and only hope after all the discussion was to find a bike to find a work. It is not difficult to find a bike to get the work.

Now I am like a man with only bones left. It seems as if I am dieying and soon going to heaven. It really was tiresome. It was very awful, painful and good starter day. The time spent was 8-9 hours in the center. Finally drive in your bicycle to the 5km to your room. Oh, Thanks god that is what you need now, Then nothing stops because that is the place where you have to return just only you are going to sleep in that place.

Some how managed to reach the place and finally prepared a food to eat and now writing these stories of long long day. Isn't it amazing ? A great startup, how about now a good sleep.

I feel as if I am going to sleep forever, people might feel it is derpession, it is just an anger that a people is showing but the life will not let you tell you what to d oand what not to do. It is always your faith your disicison that makes you the life easier later. It is the way it is.

As if I am not in mood now to write or work out writing some stupid stories which will make not any sense to all the sensual people in the world. Enjoy and have fun in your life too, before it gets too late. Some times the way you predict, or see the future-is exactly the similar what happens. Enjoy and really be cool as Ice in your neck.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

All the way leads to one way.

Suprise again, Woke up with eyes open. A third world country fellow came to study in one city of Finland. Now, The time has come to extended your permit.The permit reminds you that you are from different place and you have to show the some 6000 Euro Balance in your bank account.

Now they are also planning to change the system. The system now they are looking for the change is that Students selected should paid a tution fee. I think this is not possible. None of the people would like to come to this deadland, I do not recommend anybody to do that if they are going to implement such system. Please for god's sake do not waste your money and your times. It is better to go somehwere else or some other country rather than coming to this place.

It does not mean that it is bad or good or something, only thing is that your personal benefit. Always ask what you are going to get from what you do. It does not make you selfish, it makes you decide your own destiny.

Today as my eyes were open and my hands, legs and my part of body was moving. I thought to go to the Center of the city. It was very early in the morning I reached to the city center and coming early in the morning today at the center where there were no one, none of the shops were open, sitting in the gallery stand I was doing nothing. I opened my diary and started to write something.

One beautiful lady came and open her gallery of Finnish design infront of me where I am sitting. I was waiting patiently for the the shops to open. Every morning comes with the ray of hope and again evening goes with depression of black darkness.

Sometimes the money we earn are not even useful to us. What would we do when the money we earn does not make any sense in real life. The reality is somehow different then what we percieve or what we think.

Imagine a situation where there is no hatred, not religion, no language, no caste and no creed, no difference and no pain, no sorrow and no guilt. I know it is not easy as it looks but it is easy.

What we see depends upon what we think. I get angry who is getting the benefit ? I am angry makes me feel bad, makes by body to behave somewhat to show the expression of anger. This is what is not good. The world is how we see, how we take and how we feel deep inside.

Understanding a human is very difficult task. Now a days, people write that they can really have good relationship in 1 month, 3 months and some 21 days. This is stupid. It does not work the way those people think or those people belive. First you need to understand yourself, then you should be able to understand his behaviour, attitude, gestures, culture, country, language and many more. It is not easy to understand the human. How can people easily think that it is easy to be in relationship.

Relationship is all about commitment. It is about the effort, it is about the two ways of mutual, soul talk or soul understanding. It is not easy. In search of good partner we may try 100 girls or guys in our life but what would we get at the end of all this. A rotton thing either hanging or rotton thing sticking in our body.

I am in the actually not healthy and I am fit and fine as people are normally but my body is such that I am filling as if I am ill. I do not know what would happen tomorrow but If I die please do not leave me alone. The blog would not be updated anymore, I would not have any good news, or bad news or any stories to tell you. I would not have anything to write. In the process of living and dieying we are trying hard to survive. We want things but things won't gives us satisfcation. Please start doing the things you like most. Leave the rest to your faith, if it is there it will come and if it was not-it was never yours.

Life is the way we live it, life is the way we share it and happiness is multiplied when shared. Race is divided when discussed, language will create problem when seen in difference, Peace is the end. Please try to know the fact that all our destiny leads us to graveyard, or some are burnt.

The process of reaching the end and making exciting is in all your hand. One example I would like to share was-I was in the center today, I saw a old women, I felt like I should talk with her. I just said Good day in Finnish and she replied with me the same. She stopped walking or going where she was intended to and she asked me if I was fine, I replied yes.

This is what I do, feel like talking-talk, feel like doing sex-do it, feel like smiling without reason-smile, feel like getting angry with yourself-get angry, feel like shouting to someone-shout, feel like sleeping more-sleep, feel like not waking up again to see the beautiful morning-do not wake up.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Higher Studies in Finland

As unexpectedly I woke up early in the morning, I realized that I was breathing and I was alive. I prayed to those who gave me the opportunity to see the entire day. I did all the activites that people do early in the morning.

A good begin is what we need. A good start is what we want and a click in our life can change everything in our life. It is difficult but at the same time it is not diffcult only because it depends on our perspective.

I came in Finland only because the Study here is Free, Imagine tomorrow they keep tution fee in the Universities across Finland. I would not ask my grandmother to come here in finland for studies.

I can write thousand pages about the good things about this country, culture, language and society whatever. But I would tell you that- People here do not like to see more foreigners, they would like to see few but they do not want it more. I do not know in a country where you can hardly find any people, those who survive in this land do not want to same species from the different planet. Some would like to see but I can be rest assure that many of them do not like to.

It is quite acceptable for me if some body says something worng or bad or gives negative comment on the country, culture or language but if I would say the same to the people from Finland, or other part of Europe they are not ready to accept it. Only because they do not want to accept the reality.

It is great opportunity for me and I really appreciate with what they have given me. I would like to make these hurtful statements if they sound like in such sense.
Be ready to accept it. Sometimes I think why when people talk about Europe they think the capital of Europe is United Kingdom. Many of the people from the rest of the world has the same point of view.

These all nations are now united to one Nation called as European Union.It is good that they have one body which regulates and rules them. They have to follow the rules and they are following it good.

We are born-from the moment we are born we start making our choices, our opinion about the world, culture, language and everything around us based on our observation and level of thinking. We think we see, we see we open the doors of our mind. People in many part of these countries are scared to open there door only because they think they might get some ill substances in the form of human to there home land.

When I know where I am going, my destination is very clear. When I am abit scared and wary about it I will go nowhere.

These two lines will take some time for you to think. You may think in thousand different ways but all the ways have same end. Language is good way to start communicating with people. Everybody will appreciate if you can speak the language of their country and their society. But how would you manage if you are trying to learn and could not easily learn the language of their country ? The same point of discussion was carried out once with me and a friend.

Even a dog of your country speaks the language you speak. Only thing is that when some one comes to your country only difficulites for him is to learn your language for some people it is easy. They learn it very easily but for some it is difficult they could not learn it easily. Now what ? Are you going to kill that person ? Are you going to hate that person ? Mostly if you hate that person then you are hating yourself. If you start behaving rude to that person then it is not the person who will suffer its you who are suffering.

Language is great problem in all the country. I do not respect as my friend respect his language, I do not respect as my friend respect his country. I do not respect as my friend respect the land he was born. For me, it is just a land. I respect my mother land too, I respect the language too but I am not nationalistic. I do not have one single point of view on one single nation. I belive all the Nation is same. Take an example of lakes- In Finland there are thousand of lakes.

Some lakes are small, some lakes are big, some are dirty and some are not. All these lakes have one common language, all these lakes have one common theme, all these lakes makes us think that by going into future we are increasigly going small. We are separate and we are not going to be mixed.

All these lakes know that they are soon going to chagne their structure or the way people will see them, not to hide but to make them invisible. Lakes have one common language and one common goal. Thousand lakes are the numbers but Lake is just one.
I do not know how people see it. I see it as One.

I am sorry to those whom I have hurt or I am hurting only because I am bad at learning language. I belive that you can provide me a complete stranger and I would possible be able to communicate with him somehow and I would not need any language.

Todays mind of people have changed and they belive that without language a communication is not possible. My mind is old mind of some old age, which tells me that Communication is also possible without language.

All is well that ends well. Let me thank the country, culture, language and everything that is not here. I thank this place for providing me excellent opportunity to pursue my higher studies. I am very happy they have taken a great step but hopefully they should not implement the process of applying tution fee which will not bring my grandmother from her grave to studies here in Finland.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Monday again.

I have to accept the fact that some Monday could be good too, I remember last Monday writing about the Monday and the consequences I face on this day. Today it was not like that. It came up with some good and surprises.

I always believe in the fact that Nothing is in our hand. It is written some where, we cannot find that place, we cannot determine what is it, we just can assume, we just have to leave it to our fate, faith, religion, culture and our core values, most importantly to our heart.

People will be there around you, people will be close to you and people will be far from you. It is not the distance it is the love, it is the moments you shared, it is the laugh,smile, cry, worries, problems, all these creates the moment and once these moments are created it will become a part of life. Once these moments become a part of life, it is with us. It is constantly reminding to go back. It ask our mind to go back in the same moment, do the same things, laugh the way you did or eat the food you enjoyed eating or preparing.

Surprises are good, satisfaction is better. Sorrows are better Sadness is worse. Why do we get into habit of being sad when we know we are here to enjoy. Just enjoy your day-live a life with joy and happiness. Try to share the feelings even though other person does not want to listen-tell him/her if you feel telling your things.

Trust is build once you share your feelings, people start to believe in you once you do not hide, or do not lie. Truthfulness gives you the trustfulness.
The process of life continues like the it has to. There would be people around you and there would not be people around you. Many of our worries are due to the fact that we want, desire, need something. Those things make our mind to worry and go in the direction to get what we desire, want or need. When we go in the direction of our mind we go nowhere. We are going to end up in the way every body does and every body will.

Once we set up one environment we are just the person doing the same thing as others are doing. Who do not have work ? Almost many of them have. Who do not have degree ? Almost many of them have and you want it or you have it too. Who do not have a car ? Many of them have and many of them will have. These basic necessity turns in to the dream, or goal, or passion in our life. Once we change we go in the direction of our mind. When we go in the direction of our mind we will reach in getting what we desire, want or need but we will not see what we could have achieved, done, or learn, or given to this mother earth.

I have seen many people who wants to take, who wants to have something in there life- I have never seen any person who wants to give. Only because people are afraid of giving then taking. It is easier to ask than to give when not asked.

Understanding the psychology of human, and the psychology of the person who created the world is different. I went to the center today with couple of friends. I was feeling tired and sat in the middle of the highway where there was one chair to sit. It was in the side of the highway near the pedestrian path.

While I was watching all those busy people driving there car and going very fast. I realized that they are going nowhere. People are running after something that is not important at all. It is necessity but at the same time the total rush is for nothing. We are very busy that we do not have time to pray. Some times I think-people like the word busy then being busy.

However, It does not matter as long as I was taking rest and enjoying the people around me running and thinking they are running after nothing. It was pleasant to see all the similar men like me who were wearing somewhat similar clothes then I was, only basic difference was they were driving the vehicle,Many of them were also staring at me just may be because I look as if I have just arrived from jungle.


Surprises can happen, and it is in the hand and book of those who had created us. Who had sent us to this place for the good deeds. Thanks to him, his men and him surprises. I would like to see him someday and enjoy a greatest party with him that I could not imagine I would get it in this earth.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I was born handsome, I will die handsome.

Hot summer day, shining with the bright blue sky and on the top of that the barbecue party at the center of the apartment with smiling and beautiful faces all around. The day was shining as it always does with many of new and exciting faces just showing the signs of joy and madness at the same time.

It was pleasant to be in the group of all men and women. Some of them were ready to go back home in the summer after the completion of there studies in Filand. Many of them were just coming to see off them. I was there to see all those of them.

It was good to be in group of all the handsome men and beautiful women. I was excited too. I said to my friends-"I was born handsome and I will die handsome". The quote became a joke and it was a funny statement to start my cheerful day.

We took a pictures, we smile, we laugh, we cook and we also eat a lot of healthy delicious and mind boggling food. It was amazing mixture of champigne and Vodka. My nature does not allow me to be so sober in such case. I mixed them both. It was amazing, quanity of alcohol rose upto 72% which when passing though the mouth felt as if i am putting the fire into it.

It might might have helped my cought just because may be it burned it out or something. Anyways, it was exciting and wonderful to see people with hopes of returning and starting from all over again. There were many who were depressed to see there friends going or leaving and there was a stupid guy like me who was sitting in one corner and smiling at seeing people cry.

Some times It takes lot of hard work to become strong and some times you cannot resist it all the along. It is by nature which has given me some power to sustain in most of the difficult situations. I can resist the wind, I can also resist the storm but I cannot resist the love.

The very "I" allows me to think and I am able to think now that "I" is some body who lives inside me who is childish, strong and Natural then the person who sees me by my Name. There are two person but people cannot see the two it is my responsibility to see one as two.

After the awesome Barbecue and good taste of food. It was the time to take a deep rest. Go back to bed and sleep but again how am I suppose to finish the day just like that-then I suddenly decided to see a movie. I saw a fantastic movie called- "Into the wild". A movie which reminded a lot about the Nature, moment, learning, walking into wild places, listening to your heart and deciding what is most important in life.

A movie which will guide you to forget all the material possessions and just live for the sake of living. A movies which does not ask you to follow the rules but to ask other to follow yours.


The day went good and as it always does. People may live some years before they die, "I live for one day and I die the same day". It is quite suprise and awkward for many to see the statement like the one I mentioned.

I do not have ... years to go or I have spent ... years in my life. I am just one day old or some hours old right now just because I woke up 3 hours ago. Therefore It makes me 3 hours old. Now, when I go back to bed in the evening then I am going to my death bed. It is the time I want to take rest from all my sins, all my pleause and all my good, bad, or whatever deeds.

Yesterday my brother who lives in Australia asked me-how come you have so many words in your mind everyday ? How are you able to write some thing everyday.? I write just because It is my passion, I write just because I do not know anything. I write just because I know there are people who read it. I am not worried about the mistakes, like grammatical or construction or whatever but I write just to write.

I will be helpful to those who will suggest me but I am again helpful to those who does not have anything to say too. Everything is art. Everything is creativity. All the women in earth are beautiful, all the religious places are best and awesome. All these places may be called with different name but the messege of all the religous places are the same.

All the women are beautiful only because all the women are same around the world. They might not look same but they are physically similar. They have this two ballons in their chest, a quite complicated structure. It might seem as if it is too easy but it is difficult at the same time.

The sound of raindrops back my windows remind me of my old days when I used to be with one beautiful women together. Now, It is my aloness which reminds me that it is the first lesson of love.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Old stuffs.

There are many things in our life and such things we ignore them all the time. See the door for e.g. or bed, the clothes, the wallet, or the plates, or the window, or the table etc. All these things are just the things for us to use.

We think all these stuffs are for us to use and they are there with us to use them and later throw them. I really do not like the idea of throwing out the things which are close to you. or the things which you once get into the habit of using it. I may be doing a worng decision or whatever but It is not good. Once we first meet or get to see these things-We are some how related with all these things that are just useless for us.

It might look useless for us, they are the things for us to use and throw but once we get into these things we tend to forget or do not really care about them. But the things which we use are for us and they should be kept with the proper care. It should be taken with good care and they should be treated as if you are related to them.

Life is not easy as it looks but once you like and love and find happiness or smile in whatever you see, whichever moment you are into and whichever things you use you get one big thing and that big thing is-- Satisfaction. That Satisfaction will make you feel that you are alive. It will give you the greatest pleausre of living a live.

Be cheerful, be honest, and be truthful once you try to be what metioned here you will build a relationship of "trust". Once the relationship of trust is being started with not only the other person, but also with the things it will become two way around. You will get the help from the things you do not see are helpful. The things which will literally or practically do not talk with you but they will impractically help you. Take for example a table lamp-it provides you with light, whever you need it, just you turn it on, whenever you do not need it just turn if off. How many of you are thankful to a table lamp, or desk, or chair or the bed or the things you use ?

It might sound stupid, weired and awkward but it is not. It is not the way it sounds. It is the reality. you like the things and once it gets old you do not like them anymore. Something which is similar with women. You like the newly seen women whom you have just started dating later on when she turns into your wife she is just an old car.

Why do we like most of the times the new, it is just because our mind needs some different taste all the time, it ask us to change and it wants us to do something or conqure something that we never had.

The reality is just this, accept it , rejoice in it and just belive it.

I am very addicted to what I do, I do not want to chage the way I am, I do not want to be some body else, I am what I am, I like the way as I am but the fact is when I am doing something worng then I will not try to do it the next time. I will try to learn from the mistakes all the time. I am hungry for learning as I am always very hungry for anything.

The motto of life is to live- whatever be the situation, wherever you might be and whichever things you were upto. It is the motto of life but we many of the times we tend to forget what it really is and we go hayward which brings into us unwanted substances Which really need to be removed.

I am related to the trees, to the birds, to the bed in which I take nap, I am related to everythings, and every non living or living things. It is how we see them. For me, my room is entire world. How many of the people will think like that ? People might think-this guy is crazy but that is how they had thought before.

I can explain you why. I often say to people that love the everythings, smile as if you are child and you do not know why you are smiling. Ask a child and he wil give you the same answer. He does not know what is the reason behind it but once he sees me watching him-he smiles back at me just because I smile at him. There is no reason. There is human connection. There is no race, religion,politics, or whatever there is only simplicity.

Once we make our mind open as if we can take entire of the sky we will reach to the stage called total silence. The mind will move into the phase of silence where some times or once in a while you will not feel to talk anything in a day or two. You want to sit idle just like that. You do not want to think or watch or see but you will be like mediating. The process might look complicated but it is not as it looks.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Listen to your heart.

Men cannot leave the women but it is always the decision of women to leave the Men. I am not generalizing but many of the times I have seen many women dumping the Men not the opposite way around.

It is the nature of women which is constantly changing and which always want to feel good or happy or depressed at the same time. The unpredictablel nature of the women makes it vulnerale to many men. They could not resist and suddenly they have to break the relationship.

The lasting relationship need load of commitment from the both side. It requires the dedication and hardwork of liking some one. Of giving your entire life for the happyness and good of some one. It also requires that you care, you are worried if your partner is worried and your partner is worried when you are worried.

Some body needs you constantly, how would you know ? Just be with the person, even the person makes you cry- there will be time he will make you happy too. The time you decide you are no longer want to be the person is the time you make a worng move. When it is enough, you think you cannot tolerate but you are not making an intelligent decision by not facing the problems.

The problems you face are just the part of life. One has to face it and try to solve it together because "Together you can". It is the mutual work, it requires both of you and your partner.

Be yourself, listen to your partner and ask what makes him feel good. You can do one more task by the time you decide that you are no longer want to be with your partner. Just sit and write a note. Write all the good in one column and all the bad your partner has done for you.

If the good exceeds the bad then you are making a worng move. But once you wil see that bad has exceeded the good then you will try to fogive your partner. This process will help you to know more about yourself then the person who likes or loves or cares about you.

Some times by making a decision does not solve the problem and some time by not making solves it. It is just there somewhere flying in the air you got to find it. It is close to you but you could not see it. The place you were born will be the place you will die but that is reality and that won't change. Only thing you can change in yourself is your habit, you personality, your life, your behaviour, your attitude, your feelings toward other person. You can also change many other things about you if you wish to do it, you will do it.

Relationship are difficult for many people. I find it very easy. I think I am related to everything around me. I am related to the path that take every day to school. I am related to the air that touches me whenever I walk. I am related to all the songs that bird sing. I am related to all those drop of water that fall to make you cool in hot summer months. I am also related to many of the beautiful women who are like angel taking care of me all the time.

It does not matter you being in love or love being with you. Only things matter is how you see yourself in whole situation. How you relate your life in such a context.

Once a strange person saw me and asked me what would happen if I shoot you right now ? I said you will be feel total satisfaction of what you want to do. It does not matter for you me being alive or dead, but It matters to you to kill me and that will give you complete satisfaction.

Do those activities which satisfies you. Remeber to listen your heart and the music that gives pleasure in your soul.

Palace to museum and Great Idea

Palace to Museum

We are talking big about New Nepal. People are looking for change. When what we need the most is economic development why not to make the Narayanhiti Palace a national museum? Would not it be more Loktantric if we gave chance to every citizen to see the palace?

[published in Letter to the Editors-"The Kathmandu Post" May 17 2008]



Great idea
Turning Narayanhity palace into a national museum is a great idea. No great palace of former rulers is open to public in Nepal. Hence, the Narayanhity Museum (a possible name) will give Nepalis a unique peek at the 240-year-old institution of monarchy that has played such an important role in shaping the political course of the country.
Moreover, the palace is located in the middle of the city, as are most other great museums around the world. Turning this palace into a museum would also bring in some foreign exchange for the country.
Santosh Kalwar, Ratnangar-4, Chitwan

[published in Letter to the Editors-"The Himalayan Times" May 19 2008]

Thursday, May 15, 2008

A degree without job.

Last night I went to a friends place and he said that, "I have not heard any one who do not have Summer Job". Every one is getting something and already are on there way for the job.

Some have started the thesis work, some have got into some company for as summer trainee. Some have also got the work in univeristy, or in some organization. Some have started to move to there homes and some have really been doing very good. I was wondering why not me ?

What is worng with me that I could not get the job? Is my degree Invalid ? Is it because I come from different place and there is language problem ? Is it I am black or white or green or pink ?

Why is something that I really want not being given to me ? There are so many questions in my mind that I can even hardly imagine how to answer them all.
Some times I even ask- Am I living my life for a job or job is waiting for me to come near to it. Should I go for a job or job should come to me and ask me- Hello, Do you want to work for me ?

Those days will be dream come true after hearing loads of dissatisfied words and unfortunate keywords in all the emails that I receive. There are dozen of them every day. None of them even say that we will call for an interview or something. I even wonder my resume is not good engough.

I remember Once watching a movie "Pirates of Silicon Valley", Steve Jobs said that, "Good artist is copy and great artist is stealing" When I being a part of silicon valley and coming from the same background I some times thinks which kind of artist I belong to. Should I steal the job from some body ? But again the big question is how. How can I steal a job if already some one is having the job or doing it. There could be very easy ways too.

There are people who do it like the mentioned above by cheating, by saying 1000 lies about the person and by using many tricks and I think that is not the right way to do it. One can steal the job but stealing is also an art, an art which require a very good skill. It should not harm the person from you are stealing. It should not even give an bad impression of what you are doing. Can you do such kind of fine art ?

Now, I am going in other direction let me come to the right tract-Point is, Why do people like me find difficult to get the job in different country or the place which is not there native place- It is because of language, culture, skin color and many more. When you have everything similar to those who look similar then you will find it easy to get the job or work.

Stories are written only when you are unsuccessful and you have got something to say. It is the same with me. When people are famous they do not have anything to say. They are very busy in there day to day life. They even do not have time for there personal life. One day those people will realize what did I do my entire life just wasting my time with bunch of papers, computers, projects and work load. What I have done or achieved ?

When such question come in the mind of old people generally they try to escape the reality or they are afraid to face the reality and they try to kill themselves. Most of such cases can be seen or heard or read.

Some times it is even good to stay as you are and it gives loads of pleasure too. People most of the times, do not have time but I have tons and tons of time for me. I wake up whenever I feel I have to. I do my stuffs whenever I want to do them. I go to school whenever I feel going. I watch movies whenever I feel them to watch. I visit the friends place whenever I feel or like to visit. The all "I" brings me closer to my "Self" or "Soul" or more simple terms "heart". I become close to it and it directs me what to do and what not to do.

Some times I even feel as if It is my mood that creates the weather. How many of you will belive that ? This is the fact. It does not matter to me you belive or not because I know it.

It really gives me worng impression why people compalin. I have seen people who are born in Europe and they get a good benefit of being student around the sum of Euro 500 or something similar every month. They still complain the money is not enough. I ask them See the people like us and be happy, feel fortunate that you are really lucky of being born in Europe( A first world). We come from place which is divided by some great guy as Third world therfore we do not get any benefit and we are also not eligible for many different rights. Why ?

Can some one answer this question ? What is the difference ? Why are we creating this difference of being born in Europe and being born in Asia or some where else. It is the duty of goverment which really sucks in developing world. I heard that there are many Phd holders who drive a taxi in USA.

Wow, Isn't that a good news- some times if you are lucky and visit United States feel really proud of yourself of being driven by some real good Profession or Phd holders.

A degree without the job is useless and if goverment, political parties or whoever is on the top ruling there countries should really have to be serious about the change. They should think serously the matter and bring some strategy to solve the issue. It is not difficult it just takes some good logical thinking and I am sure it can easily be solved.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Read and Write

When we are afraid, what is the solution we use. Either we face the problem or we try to escape from the problem. The theory and people who are good at theory will surely tell you the fact that just face the problem and do not escape from it.

Even my child can say that stupid theory but how many of people really follow what is the reality. ? How many of really follow what is true and what should you do one such circumstances. ? There are people who just run away and I have seen- Most of those people are who just say that we have to face the problems. Those are the most of those who do not follow but just say.

Saying and Doing is two different things. It is similar to some what Reading and Writing. Which one is better ? One will give you knowledge and one will produce knowledge. What kind of difference and what kind of thing will distinguish these two great phenomenon in the world?

It is the theory of Read and Write which is continue from the movent of evolution to moment of revolution and it will continue like that. Reading is knowing, trying to learn, hunger for knowledge and Writing is producing, creating and giving knowledge.

These two phenomenon are quite different but at the same time these two are very important too. We are two different kind of people living in this world doing these activities in our life.

There are some people who just say- they are good at saying, and saying or talking does not help. Those kind of people can be categorized as hypocrites, those kind of people I keep them in one group where they just say and they do not do. They say because they think they are saying correct. They want to prove there point. They think they are the best in whatever they do. They can say you something a whole entire day and try to convince you about what they are saying and you will also follow such person.

Another kind of person is those person who does not have anything to say but only he focus his life in doing. He believes in doing and he tries his other mates to do the same. He has followed this path and people might even call such kind of person as stereotype or whatever. A kind of person who only focuses his life in doing. He is all the time creating something even though he is not creating but he is trying to do something. Either it can be watching, fucking, or listening or whatever. These kind of person are always in present and focusing there life in present.


Now if you have to chose among the person what kind of person would you choose in your life ? What kind of person would you follow and what kind of theme your life will follow- Read or Write. To do the both is almost very difficult and it takes a lot of handwork to be success in both the part of the world.

There are people who will pull your legs, in the time of total disarray and total helplessness there would be people who will really try to pull your legs and you have to overcome this activity. The process you follow is entirely yours and yours alone. It is you and your own mind which will decide - What to do next ?

You need a constant faith and support for overcoming this barrier. The faith and support can come in many different ways but it has to come.

There is nothing Science can do except trying, and findings but one thing a faith can do that is satisfying. You can satisfy your soul if you visit 45 minutes in a church. You will not loose anything but you will loose yourself from everything.

It is your decision either you want to follow one religion or two religion but a person like me follows all the religion. I visit every religious place like church, Mahzids and Temples. I do not feel any shy on doing that, As long as the doors of GOD are open I do not differentiate on which door I am entering. As long as I know the names given by us are different for different GOD- I know that we are still illiterate and we still need education. As long as I see difference in the eyes of people I see their lack of knowledge and lack of wisdom.


I am not trying to prove that I am perfect or I am the best only because I do not exits. Welcome to the world of Read and Write. Try to understand what is going on and which one you follow. Either you are the person from Read category or Write category. Either you belong to both. Either you want to visit one temple or church or You want to visit all the religious places. Either you do not see any connection between what my sentence means. It is all you have to decide.

No one will make any decisions on behalf of you- every one will give you suggestion but no one will tell you what to do. Listen to yourself, listen to silence of your soul and listen to sound of silence deep inside you, you will get what you want one day for sure.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Just sit and watch

A great ray of hope fall into the small window close to my room asking me to open my eyes and see the beautiful bright morning. It just felt as if I am in some lonely place with one single house with my family living like a simple citizen and writing something on my laptop.

Journey it is my dear friend, we learn we earn and we churn everything into pieces. It is difficult to sustain a relationship and it is more difficult to be in relationship for longer period of time. Any kind of relationship, either it is friendship, love, marriage or any relationship. One bad words, one worng deed, one depressing expression or whatsoever will break everything you worked out your life trying to build it.

It is very weak, it is very weak. Some times I think it is like a thread and in that thread there are two people trying to cross one place of thread to another. They are not two but they are one. Only because they are one they can get to there destination. Only because they physically have two bodies but they have decided to live in a single body and cross or reach the destination. It is there formula or their understanding which has led them to there appropriate level of wisdom of decision.

While writing this article too a ray of hope with a little bit of sun shile in it is falling in my head. It gives me pleasure and it really motivates my fingers to move across these keys in the keyboard. I do not know how my fingers start to move or why they are moving or how can it quickly move across these keyboards but these are just moving.

I took a break- for the preparation of my morning coffee and now I am back with these black letters in the white background pasted automatically. Who is satisfied ? From the early child hood to man hood to oldhood we complain, we always compalain about something in our life, our stuffs, our country, the rules, the traffic, the house, the kitchen, the study, technology and many more We complain only because we are not satisfied. When we are not satisfied with what we start making all these complains.

These complains will not give us anything but just our personal fulfillment about the things we are not happy, once it comes out of our mouth then we become happy and we feel we have really done good work by complaining about the things we were not satisfied of.

I do it many of the time during my own life. Some times I do it personally, some times I just want to ask why I have to satisfy every one that I encounter in my life then I realize that this is why we all are different. Just like a good politicians or leaders who give one good speech and many of there supporters support them but there would be some one who will complain about this leader or politician and that person will kill that politician because of complain and other things.

In the process of getting happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment of life we forget that we are living as a human first then we live as a person from the country we belong and then we are a family member of some and so on. It is our own decison how we see ourselves.

It is the decision of our self which will guide us to the other side. Let us say- I like a girl but what if I just want to use her and one day I say no I do not want to be with you. Whom am I hurting ? Girl for sure, She will get hurt but her nature supports the hurt. She is build naturally so strong that she can tolerate any pain she gets in life. I always belive that women are far strong then all we body building men. Why ?

See the physical structure of women, she how she has to bear a 9 months baby with great deal of patient and anticiapation. See how difficult the difficult it is to become a women. How can you understand when you carry a pieace which can just be used very easily and again reused. How can we understand until and unless we ourselves experience those phenomenon.

I am quite free here to write just because I know I have something to say or something to share with everybody. I do not know how many of my friends, my community memebers read them but I know there are people who read them. I know I am writing not to attract a audience but to share my side of story with these people.

In this complex dynamic world people have changed the way they used to be. People do more of marketing today then some years back. We are involved in becoming or selling ourselves. Why do not we just be ourselves by doing or working or loving the things we always do ? May be it again depends on person-person attitude.

One guy was there who was very clever and he showed his cleverness by his words, strong words and high pitch sound does not make a person saying really important. This guy took everything from his friend, his job, his attitude and his insipation on other friends just because others were not understanding his cleaverness but they all thought that the guy who is really being a victim is bad.

When you judge a person from some one else words, some one else opinion then you are not judging a person. You got to judge yourself. You have to decide yourself. No one is there who will tell you who is bad and who is right. I cannot see any person in my life as bad only because even that person Nature is bad it is just because of some circumstances and situations. When you open your eyes of vastness and openness then you will see the whole entire sky blazing with blue color and birds singing like never before.

Just sit and watch.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Monday

Every weeken starts with the Monday, all the work-School or Office Starts usually on the Monday. Many people feel very good about this day, they had a good weekend or pleasant weekend and now they are excited to visit the office or school for their daily work.

To me, the Monday is worst day-Every monday I always hear a bad news, a news which gives me suprises and these suprises are really unexpected, totally bad for the entire life or career.

Why did it happen to me ? What is that I have to do with Monday and the consequences that I face during this day. There is one monday every week. I am sure that I am not going to hear a good news in this day. There would be four mondays in entire month or some times even five. These four or five days in a month are the entirely suprising bad news days for me.

I do not feel excited only because I know I am going to get some unexpected result. I am really depressed and I am sure that I would get a bad news on this day. Today when I wake up I saw there were black clouds in the sky. It really tells that you are not going to get a good news. It is not good to see a black clouds early in the morning. You are certainly going to get some bad news. To the best of what I thought, Finally I got it.

Thanks to my predictive nature that my prediction were correct. It was what I wanted. I got a very good news that I am screwed up. Now, Thanks to those who did a good favour on behalf of me. I do not know who it is- I do not know who it was, but whoever it was-It was my well-wisher.

Now what ? What would I have to do ? No job, No money No peace- Some times I wonder why I am here ? What made me to come to this place ? Even though it looks like a mixed up puzzle which cannot be solved. Depressing it is- When you are going through a bad moments you are not ready to accept the good words of others only because you know they do not understand what you are going through.

It is you and only you who understand yourself, you created the problem now it is your duty to solve it. Either you solve it or just face the consequences that you are going to get. Some times the forgiveness helps but some times people do not forgive you. They think you are the criminal and you really have done the mistake. The mistakes should be forgiven, God also gives a chance to his children why don't we the children of God cannot forgive others who are similar to us.

Crime is crime wheather it is in academic, or social or political or any. Those people are regarded as reached the Nirvana who can even forgive his/her enemy. How many of us can forgive the enemy ?

Hardly less, very few people can forgive the enemy and we cannot do it only because we do not want to do it. It is difficult and it will always be difficult. That is why we have this word called "difficult".

It is tough to survive in this world, it is also not easy-it is getting difficult for many of the people and it will not be easy anymore. It depends on time and the time will show it.

I wish there should not be the day starting with the word called "Monday". The world does not work as I think it should. The day which is bad for me is best for some one else. Every body has the good days and every body has the bad days.

I do not know- I am worried and I am terrified about this day. I always want to pass this day very fast but it does not pass as I want it to. It is very long, it is the longest day in entire week. It has its own brilliance. I do not want it to be long but it say No, I am impossible. I won't change my Nature. I will remain as if I am. Who are you to ask me to change my Nature ? I answer that I am no one. I am a simple ordinary human who is struglling to survive.


Again it says that then stuggle. You could have a brilliant life why did you choose to be like this ? You have chosen your fate and you have to face the consequences for the same. If you do some mistake then you have to regret it, you have to face the verdict, you have to go though the punishments. It is the rule we live into. It is the rule we follow. Just because you are sorry or you have realized the mistake won't solve the problem in you.

We have jail to put the prisoners only because all those prisoners commit the crime. All those people who commit the crime have to go throught it-that is the lesson of life. No body can change it now.

You can do thousand good things but one bad thing will remove all the goods that you have done. People will remember not your good deeds but your one bad deed.
This is the reality of life and no body can change it. It is the process of life. Whatever be the consequences just be there and face it. Whatever will be the final result it will be for you and your self. Do not worry, if God really wants to punish you he will and if he forgives you- then you are lucky.

Let us hope and pray that you wil be ask for help from the God on every Monday and hope he will give you suprises too my ignoring your mistakes. Hope that your Mondays despite being bad will not be hurtful enough. Let us hope that One Monday you will really like it and you will say that One Monday was the best Monday in my life. Let us hope which can some time is not enough but is necessary to survive.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Nature God

The greatest journey is those which are close to your heart. It is not just a journey but the feeling that you get when you reach to the desire of your destination. The journey gives you lots of pleasure. The pleasure is by changing atmosphere. The place you visit, the people you see, the food you eat, the smell of you take. Everything is dynamic, every thing also seem very dynamic and it gives you pleasure-Once there is pleasure there is feeling of satisfaction. Once you get the feeling of satisfaction you rejoice with eternity.

Life is a similar journey with the taste of finding the same pleasure. Some people get it and some miss it. Some want it but despite the desire they do not get it. It has to be the real desire in you. It has to come from inside you. It will ask you that come on I have to move on in life now.

The words are difficult to merge into a sentence. Often we think many times before even making a sentence just to give the meaning to the sentence. What if we forget the meaning and just try to make a sentence ? Then Our mind will ask us that the reader will not read the text or sentence. We might even think that it will sound stupid to the readers. But what if again- we just make an impression that who cares ? Who cares if no body reads what you have written- or let us say, Imagine No one is reading what you have written. Just write and do not see the consequences or the outcome. Write to show your real desire or feeling or whatever you want to put into but do not judge what others will think about it. ? It is some what said in some religious text books too.

I am doing the same. I do not care as long as my words do not form a meanigful sentence. I do not care as long as the the sentence has no meaning or people even wil think in such a way. It is the judgement done not by me but by others. My hands automatically moves to the keys that I am pressing and my mind automatically thinks over some thing which is visible in the monitor as a sentence. I do not know what I am writing but I think i am writing.

Journey is similar, we do not know where we are going but we are going, moving, exploring, finding and researching what is the next, what will happen, what kind of people we will meet, what kind of food we are going to get, what kind of views we are going to see and what kind of smell of nature we are going to taste.

We are so small- see the mountains, when I see the big mountains in front of me, I really feel that I am very small, then I feel that how strong is that mountain, the mountain with heart of stone, it can resist everything, all the natural calamities, all the natural disaster some times even it can produce something which we call volcanic eruption. Why is nature so different then we really think it is.

We are very close to nature despite that we avoid it many of the times. Many of life lessons comes from the observation of Nature. All the scientific disocery are the gift of Nature, all of the knowledge are of Nature and all the testing people do are also for the benefit or drawbacks to Nature. It is very stong. It can take all our worries, it can even take all what we do. It do not complains, it also do not says anything to us. It is silent all the time. It sees what we are doing. Some couple of weeks back, I saw some video and people said that God is unknown, why do not GOD replies to our messege or prayers ? I assume Nature is GOD. and GOD resides in Nature only because it is very much similar.

May be GOD do not wanted to live inside the human just because it will not be justified to other in whom he cannot reside- Either he has to live in every one or no one. May be he decided to live in Nature therefore no one will see him but every one will see the Nature.

Nature is silent so is GOD, we pray and our prayers are heard based on our own soul and our priorities, it directly goes out in Nature. The nature decides wheather to really answer our prayers or not. If it is not heard that means it is some where there in Nature where one day it will come back and it will be heard but by then we will forget that we really wanted that thing in our life.

Some times in our life too we are really deeply motivated to want or get or desire for something in our life but that desire is pended. It is kept pending by the Nature or GOD. He do not want to give you very easily. Only because it is important for you. Once it is important for you, it become important for Nature too. Most of the times the things you desire or want, you do not get it easily only because you want it and the those which you do not expect you get it easily just because those things are unexplored and unknown or unexpected to you.

Welcome to Nature GOD, a place where you will explore the unexplored, a place where there resides the GOD, a place where you will find the moment of peace.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Smile in trouble

You are smiling but you do not know what you are smiling at my dear heart. I am talking with you. The you inside me, Why are you smiling in the situation where people cannot stand it anymore.

What is worng with you. The people who are close to how would they react if they smile without any reason. They will think that you are mad. They even might think that you are stupid. But as long as they do not know me inside you why should you worry.

Do not worry about any thing since you know what you are going through. You are travelling with time. You are doing what your heart is saying. It is good. Why are you thinking too much. It might seem to people that you are smiling but you are hiding something which no body is interested in, no body wants to care and no body would listen to. It is good that you are showing the smile which is the gesture of happiness or good feelings.

Your eyes speak a different language where as your face shows that you are smiling. I think you are hiding some information which is very touching, deep and heart killing. Why are you thinking of drinking alcohol. What is that brings close to your life and drink or alcohol. It is not the remedy of the problem but despite that also you want to drink it.

The wonds will heal one day, it will be healed by the time. Those wonds who are already filled by the time why are you trying to again play with the same old wonds.Despite the fact that you are facing loads of wonds these wonds will be fulfilled. Do not take any tension. I know you are not feeling well, I know there is no body besides you to tell you what is good and what is bad. I know that people are playing some good games on you. But why should you worry. Let them play their own part. You do what it is good for you.

Do not worry you will not starve to death. There is always one person whom you can turn into when it is deep shit. It is your Dad. Do not worry my dear lovely heart. No pain, no gain. You got to face the problems and remember once when you were kid, you asked GOD that-"GOD please give me all the pains in life so that I will know the life better and I would be very close to it." How can you forget that. You are getting that, you are really getting all your wishes comes true.

You are in your late 20's. It is the time where people do many crazy acts. Look at you, you are just like a old 97 year guy. Who always sits in the room, thinking, giving lessons to people and telling what is good and what is bad.Don't you think you are very ahead in the future.

Feel happy that people will really spent there entire life for the lessons that you have already. It is not because of overconfidence inside you but it is because of your wish, It is the gift from LORD to you.

Sadness is good, it gives load of pleasure once the sadness is into your body. People will never care and have you realized the fact that every body is trying to solve their own problems. Those person who has time to listen, give some suggestion or even help to other person problems are great person.

I wish I could do many more times the same but as far as I have I will do, as far as my life is there I never give up such activities. It gives a kind of satisfaction by seeing some one smiling by your deed.

Therefore I am telling you dear- Go ahead, Do what you feel, Listen to people and do not worry if some one is really doing worng to you. Later by the Grace of GOD it will be judged by him. Let him take the decisions for you. Let him give the results for you. You be yourself and do what your heart and minds says to you.

One day the ray of hope from the bright blue sky will fall in your black long hair passing through your head showing the colors of miracle. By then you will realize that you are really taken care by the allmighty.




Have a good weekend !

Friday, May 9, 2008

Present and Past

Welcome to the world of the competition where thousand of people like us fight. We come to the world formt hemoment we come we fight. The moment we come we begin to fight and we begin to work out with many difficulties.

Fight is the not the answer to ther real problems. It is the fight between the race, country, religion, education, sex, and many more things. It is the your life where you make the decision and your decisons are the final decisions. EVerything is not perfect and no body will be perfect. Even machines cannot become the perfect. Once I read the article by the a person and a legend who just talked about and gave one single statement stating that "Can machine think" ? How can a machine think ?

The biggest quest for finding the answer is today we have a new topic for the research in the field of finding that really a machine think or some how we can make a machine think ? How can a person or human make a machine think ? Can a computer which runs on the basis for the programs written in some language really think ? It is evolving and it will evolve.


Now today we can make many Roborts, we can make them work on the basis of ours demand. It is also that we can make them work and do all the labor that previous some 100 years from now were done by animalas and the humans being. Some time I even think that it is because this consequences we are loosing the jobs. The jobs are getting reduce just because of that reason.

Life is changing and everything is changing. We are getting poorer and rich are getting more richer. Their will come the time in the near future when everybody will become biased in such a way that there will be the fight with the Rich against the poor.

Who can predict the future ? No body can predict the future but certainly we can invent the future. We can think what our childrens and our grandchildrens. For there safegaurd and there future it is only in our hand.

Some 15 years down the line we never knew that we would have a small gadget like the mobile phone which will do all our business and educationa and all other relevant activities. Look the time now and see the time then. Our future were based on some imagination that we were thinking some people at those times were thinking about today.

There are always people who can really predict the future. Those people are not generaly accepted by the country, soceity or any religion or any people only because those people can think beyond any other people. They are different. Please do not assume the same for me.

Thinkings can change, people can make many different thinking but everythinking should not necessary be logical. It should help in one way to another to those who are in need, for those which can help country, society, people and even any human beings.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Nice to meet you.

Some times we try, some times we have many stories to tell and no one is going to listen to our stories. Who have the time in this world ? Who belives in what you have to say ? Who will tell that whatever you are doing is correct ? No one will tell you correctly what you are doing is right and what you are doing will give you what you desire in life.

There is one person who knows the reality and the answer, its you ! The answer of the most important of the questions in our life is known by only us. The search more search, do as many search and ask to thousand of people what is good for you. They will only give you the comments. They will give you the suggestions but it is your duty to take it the best answers for you.

It is your responsibility to answer the best of the answers. It is you to decide what is good for you and what is bad for you. There will be times when you will feel down and under. There will also be times when you will feel with joy and happy. But these times are just the journey and in journey you try to learn.

The life is full of excitement. We expect we do not get, we do not expect we get. We want we will never get what we want and when we do not want we have to take it. When we walk-we see peoples, we see trees, we see sea, we see sun , we see birds, we see flowers but what we do not see is what we are looking for most of the times.

We also see the beauty, we cannot descirbe it we just want to make it ours. When we want to acquire it, then it becomes a problem. When the flower is their it looks beautiful but once when we want to pick up the flower and make it ours. We kill it. We kill the flower. We commit a crime for Nature. We will not be penalized, we will not be taken to Jail but we will surely be given punishment by Nature.

Imagine a situation where you are a young guy of mid 20's and you are really looking for a women, a kind of your type. A sweet and beautiful. A nice looking. A tall dark beautiful lady. You then suddenly see her in the garden. The same type of the girl you were searching for.

One approach would be you will go near that girl and start talking with her. you approach tells you that you want it, you want her in your life. The process to acquire the beauty of her is by knowing her, by talking with her and by making her yours. The approach you use is the decison made by you.

You visit her and suddenly you reach to her, talk with her ask some thing stupid and try to make her laugh. Want to put some good impression of you on her. Suddenly when everything was going perfectly you saw a man approaching her. He kissed that girl with whom you were talking. You did not feel well, you are jealous, she said bye to you-and she introduce the man stating that he is her husband. You are spell bound, you do not know what to say, what to tell- You said to him- Nice to meet you.!

Did you really felt Nice when meeting some one whom you never expected. Surely you did not. But as those are formal messege we deliver even though we did not feel what we are speaking it comes automatically in our mind and we say . You feel bad you come back from the garden, in your room sleeping. Realizing that how beautiful the lady was. What would have been if you were her man and Not the guy she intoduced to you.

You felt bad and suddenly you are thinking about same kind of girl and one of your friend she approached to your room. She liked you very much but she had never had courage to say or speak to you about it. She came and she is talking to you, she is making you laugh, she is doing whatever you wish her to do. She prepared a good food for you. She came to discuss about the assignment you both were doing for some course.

You guys are just a good friends that is what is their in your mind nothing else. You do all the activites as a normal friend but you do not have any feelings of personal attachement with her.

Some of the peple might have gone through same situation. It is the process of life. We want but we do not get and when we get we do not want. Expect the unexpected. Realize that whatever comes your way is just for you. You take it as thinking a gift of Lord. You take it with your both hands. Thanking him. Saying that I never expected this to happen but since it is a gift from you my lord I will take it.

I wanted something which I did not get only because the "wanted" was my desire and my desire does not have to get fulfilled. Thank you for not giving what I desire. Because some body else has already asked for it and you have given it to him/her.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Poor English

My English is very poor, teacher said it today. He said that it is unclear, unstructured. Well, In this whole world who is perfect ? I received a big four pages comment from a teacher where I never expected to get. A long 4 pages comments.

Wow, It is good, It is nice that you get loads of critisism and it from the lecturer and it is not very short. I went to see him, asked about what I did wrong in my academic paper. His answer was-It is essay, it is not an academic paper. You should write an academic paper not an essay.

Wow, I really thought and then I finally realize all the hard work that I did for the same. Finally the product that I had in my hand is school essay and not an academic paper. Isn't it great news. Good work done to me. I tried my level best to get the best possible out of it and I got nothing.

It is good to learn and good if people give you negative or positive comments but some times I believe people cannot see your progress, some times I think people really hate you rather than hating your work. They hate you just because you are not like them. Their were some good points that I have learnt from writing that paper and it is a good motivator for me.

It is good to know that we are not perfect human beings. We are here to learn and we will always learn through entire our life. We will learn only because we do not know anything yet. We will come to know only when people will respect you of being Old.
You mix your tone with the Asian tone and you are not good enough to deliver it. It is the only thing I know. Yes, Sometimes we do and some times every body do. I am not born in England, It is not my mother tounge so what ? What is that I will do ? What is that I got to do then ?

Do I have to get depressed just because I do not have proper English tone or do I have to feel regret that I never was born in England and did not get and English tone. What is the use of it if you can properly communicate and the other person clearly understands what you are saying or what you are giving or receiving from them. What if you are born in England and your mother tounge does not help you to speak a proper English ? What if the person whom you are trying to give the messege do not understand what you are saying ?

Culture has a great impact on the way you are born and the way you do your work or the way people behave. Some times people do not want to see your face and then they will ignore everything-despite the fact that it is good. What if the teacher gives one good comment and gives 99 bad comments ? In such case, students wil get depressed surely but still he/she will be happy thinking that well, atleast Teacher said one good think about my work.

In my scenarios, their were 100 comments and all were negative. Wake up ! I am still sleeping. I have to show to the people like my teacher and to the world that it is not really bad as he thinks it is.

How is the big question ? Well, it won't take long, time is the valuable thing in this world we have- One day everything will be fine. The days of glory will come along your way too. The days of the past where everything does not go well should completly stop and everything else should come up as the days of rising sun in the early morning blazing the guns in the harbor night.

I do not care about the comments, I do not care about what people have to say only because I know what I am doing is good and I have the confidence to tell people that it is good enough. It is not that I am over confident about the work I did. It is becuase I am just confident and feeling happy, satisfied with the work I carry out. People might think or critisim will always come from every corner in life.

It is the responsibility of you, to take the good ones for you and leave the bad ones. I have made my decisons alredy and I will try to correct the mistakes that was pointed out by great English Teacher. I will try to show that everything is correct by next time. Hope it works. If not then, God will give me another way to do it. He will surely bless me with some alternative. I am hopeful and optimistic about it.

Cheers !

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The unexplored road

Life is struggle and it will be. Love is difficult and it will be. Money is hard to earn and it will be always. Nothing comes easy. It is the power of our mind which can make everything easy. It is our life which we have to make easy. How ?

Life is easy and it will always be easy. The things we do, the work we do, the life we spent thinking, working, waiting for something. The life is spent and we never realize that we have really spent our life. When we spent life working on the matters what we assume are most important in life we miss small and beautiful matters.

Time is the important aspect in our life, time can break our life, time can change our motto, our goals. Time is the most important aspect of life where people will change. People do not want to change easily but they do just because of the time.

How would you behave with complete stranger ? Will you treat him as if the person whom you do not know or would you treat him as a human, a person who looks similar to you.

The thinking you carry and say or speak a lot about you. It is you who will decide about the other person. You may assume that the person will not be enough and the person is not suitable but at the same time you can think in many different ways. Our brain is such a creative ball which is constantly looking, constantly searching and constantly wants to connect to the heart.

Connection of heart and mind is one of the brilliant techniques a humans can learn about. We work and we decide, we work on a official, academic project and we decide which is totally based on our decision of mind. What if we combine the heart and decide?

Will it make any difference then ? The answer I do not know. If you know please let me know. Their are times when you are wanting something but that something is never going to happen. You die for it but still you are alone and you are not satisfied with the decision done for you.

Who is the most important decison maker in the world ? Are you the one or Is it some one else doing it on behalf of other ? If the other is unknown what is the name we give ? Shall we call it as GOD. Shall we tell that GOD is unknown and it is our basic assumption, our believes and our thinking.

Science and conscience is the good aspect of combining both heart and mind. If a person understand both the Science and Conscience then one can easily understand what decisions are made by heart and what decisions are made by heart.

I have written something which I don't know. People ask me why on earth you do not know what you have really done ? What is wrong with you. ? Everything is wrong with me. I am a person who is mad, a person who decides based on his mind and heart. I am not telling that I understand it completely but I do and most of the times I try to prove it to many people

It is difficult but not impossible. Say a positive to a people you will get the positive answer. Say a negative to people he will not feel good about you. If we talk good, people always like it. They will be impress despite the fact that you do not like the person.

However, life has many more lessons to teach you. I want to learn, I want to learn as th learning never stops, I want to explore the learning and want to spread the message of every stories, every essay, every book and every other basic ideas that are stored in my memory to all those who needs them, to all those thirsty minds which are waiting to fulfill their thirst.


The quench of thirst, hunger, life and material possession only ends at the time when you are very old, satisfied with every other things and when you do not see the connection among any of them. The fulfilled and satisfied person then starts visiting churches, temples and Mahzids.

Welcome to the journey of life. !

Monday, May 5, 2008

My First Proposal

Oh my dear, I am very far from you. The moment I saw you I felt the deep sense of feelings for you. I didn't knew that I would really fall for you but Now I cannot imagine my life without you.

The life is like hollow, single and always needs a partner for the sharing of the ideas or thoughts in life. I am very much alone. I am lonely. I know the day I saw you-the day was perfect, with sun shining and blaze of glory being cherished from every rays that I saw fell in your beautiful hairs.

I know that you are sweet, you are careful, you are beautiful and you are the best of the creation the god has ever made. Their is no doubt in that. I will never doubt my entire life. I know that I have felt some deep love for you. I have to say it now. I know that you are the one I will never live without. You are the one without whom my life is empty. It is the dead end. I want to move forward in my life. I need some one to take me to the other side. I believe and trust you. I like you. Despite we have not talked I trust you.


My beautiful lady,From today onwards I promise that I will never ever live without you. I promise that I will be taking care of all your difficulties, all of your problems would be my problems all of your burden will be my burden, all of your pain will be my pain and all of happiness you will like to share I will their standing and smiling as you would like to see me.

I am alone, I want to you. I need you. The "want" is not only the desire but the destiny. You are my destiny. You are my love,I believe NOW, I believed the day I saw you and I will believe it till my death.

It is my life I can give you in return. It is my happiness I can give you in return. I will never ever try to give you my pain until and unless you will want to share it. Please Today- I am on my knees standing and asking you one big question-
"Will you marry me ?", "Will you be my love for entire life ?"

I am afraid, I am shy and at the same time I am feeling deep joy that you will say "yes". I am afraid because if you will say "no". My heart will be broken. I will not love anyone then afterwards. I will be alone again. I want you only because I can cry for you. I want you because I will give my entire life just to make you happy. I am ready to die if you ask me. I am ready to kill some one if you ask me. I am ready to do what you want my dear.

Please tell me do you feel the same ?. What if I ask you now that I will be loving father of your child. I will try my level best to become best father. I like you ....

I cannot live without you and I hope their won't come any days in our life when we have to be separated. Please I am here in Dubai living alone for your answer. Waiting for your response. Please let me know. Please tell me if you really will like me. Please let me know. I am in love with you.


I know it is difficult to know when a person is in love. I ask with myself and it gave only one answer. It is you. I have any friends who are girl but my heart choose only you. I have always seen you, always liked you and will like you forever and forever. I know you will like me too.

I know our relationship has not started but it does not matter because If you agree I will give you a call right now. Please tell me if you feel the same.


Here is the last three letter words that I would like to say again-

"I love you".

I will always love you and I will always be only yours,I swear, I promise and I promise from the bottom of my heart.

(Dedicated to friend and his love)

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Be open.

Good morning, beauty of the morning can not be explained. The beauty of women as is indescribable similarly beauty of beautiful morning early sun rays gazing through your windows and falling like a drop of water in your face in very hot summer days.

Fight against race will continue and it is the hot topic for discussion. Obama is fighting against the race whereas at the same time Hilary is fighting against the Gender. The gender issue is almost in the stage of development but the race issue has not even raised with concern. The issue needs some solution. People are getting tired with the same kind of rules being applied. We need to update or change the rules.

Those rules which we follow are the rules which are not valid anymore. The updated rules and procedures are needed in this world of globalization. People have forget that we are making things worse and it will become more worse if we do not take the initiatives as early as possible.

It is good that we have the freedom of speech and expression. We can express what we feel, we can share our views, ideas and thoughts but it is not good that this rules is also used in practice in many different countries. What is going on is not going on correct. What is happening is not happening for good and what needs are not enough.

It is good and it is bad at the same time. People are moving, people are afraid and people at the same time are terrified. These are those people who know or who can sense that sooner or later world will change. I always stick to my sense of believe that it is not world which is changing, it is the people who are changing. It is the people mind which needs the constant change. We live in the world where every day habits become the routine and every day routine becomes boredom. We feel bore and are most of the time fed up with the same face, same culture, same office, same routine, same wife , same sex, same food, same ... and many more.

When everything that we were doing is the same now and was same then; It become the useless. We then slowly start to change our mind. We go for the change. Which is only thing that is permanent in the world. In search of change we do many things. We build cars, we build buildings, we run, we make roads, we dig the earth in search of something and we find Ore, we move and later we explore new territory, we do many things and we evolve as humans. This gives us the complex, dynamic and total virtual world which is the world of today.

Machines are ruling it now. Computers does the work for you. Why do you now need the people ? The days are not very far when everything will be done or managed by the computers. It can also be done with machines. We created it but now they will rule over us.

We should not stop our changing behavior, the result we will get from the changing behavior is the total satisfaction and peace of our mind. If we do not change then we will be the same old stupid guy doing the same old things all the time. Kind of old fashioned typical, stereotypical.

The fight will continue as long as we build guns we create wars, as long as we build machines we cut the jobs and as long as we visit one religious place we will create differences in religion.

I do not ask you to do what mentioned over here I ask you to think over it. Imagine you visit all the religious places, feel the experiences of visiting different places, feel the experiences of visiting different countires, feel the experiences of travelling not only by plane or by car or by bike or by sea just even some times walk.

Everything we do, everthing we see, everything we feel, experience,learn and think are connected to our past, present and future in some manner or some way. Once I remember one of my friend he said- Every person near you will either tell you about your future, your past or your present.

Now it is your time to figure out in which category you want to put yourself. Good luck and Keep always a positive frame of mind set and most importantly be open.

Fight against Race

Thank you for the comments in the previous post. It is cleaned it up. I did it. Actually not only I but we did it together.

The reason are many in world.The problems are many in the world. People are not happy with you despite the fact that you are happy with them. The only suggestion they have in their mind about you is suggestions. Only advice, some times those advice are good. Some times those message are good. It helps a lot. Some times those message are unacceptable.

What is the problem with race in this world.? What is the fault of that person who is born in one place and wants to live or work or do something is other's place. The problem is not with him. The problem is with the people who are not being open. The problem are in their mind, their some part of brain which is not working and will never work forever.

It is not realized until and unless it really needs to be realized.Race, color of skin, place of birth and the country of origin has an great impact in today's globalism world. People do not accept you with who you are but they want to know more about from where you are.

People want to know about your place of origin, language you speak, your culture and your native place. The most important is if you are not a person from Nordic region, Scandinavian region or UK region or even the person from First world or from USA, it is better for you to die before making any future plans.

Please do not be afraid of killing yourself because you will not be acceptable for whatever reasons anywhere. People are still fighting for race and race will ever long continue the journey of fight. What is the difficulty of accepting a black guy in an white place or society ? What is the reason of accepting any black or brown people in the country of white ? The reason is when a person from that place comes to visit the white territory people of that region get frighten about the competition, people get vulnerable to see the color, people even will not accept with the fact that you are real and you are better than some one who lives in that place.

It is difficult to accept some stranger in your territory only because you do not know the person, you do not trust the person and you do not want to believe the person. The world is changing my dear friends. What if one among that black brown guy will teach you the new way of living your life, living close to nature and living with peace and harmony ever after.

What if you are really tired, depressed in your own life and their is one brown guy who will heal you through his own tricks. What if the man is truthful and trustworthy ? What if- Next reincarnation of GOD even if we do not belive or we do not want to belive resides in his heart.

Jesus was born somewhere in some place but if it is mentioned that every time their would be problem in this world I will take birth and the guy belongs from some third world country. Will you still accept the fact or neglect with the statement that it is nonsense.

These are just assumption. The fight will continue and will continue ever after the life. The fight will continue because the every person is not same in earth. Their are people who easily get motivated from what their leaders asked them to do for and they are ready to be killed.

What if you are in place and you are being fooled by bunch of guys who are whites and you are only brown guy who is present. What if you will think that only once I get the chance to kill of them and kill myself I will do it now.

Terrorist are not born from Mother's womb. We make them terrorist. We are creating them every now and then. We are the culprits. Their is no one to blame. The way we behave has a great impact on society,people,country are religion also many more things.

We do not even care, do we remember how long have we used the right words and how long we have been using something ridiculous and stupid which has no impact on the other person. It is not acceptable to accept only the good comments. People should have a capabilities to accept the bad comments too.

It is difficult to accept which you do not want to accept or expect. Some times life is just like that-we do not expect but we get it. We expect but despite we expect we never even reach closer to it.

Life is journey unknown. The unknown journey in search of which we will travel, and travel and travel. We will travel only because we want to learn but we will not have enough of what we really desire of. This is called total satisfaction. Every things we do is totaly connected with the satisfaction.The level of it and the search or quest of it.

Race is one big issue which is really needed a big attention in this world to be solved. People will not like to solve it only because we know that we really hate that person who visits our place and become our competitions. What if we think he is just a friends, a messenger, a person like a post man who will deliver a message and then go away.

But why in world we will think like that- We will not think like that only because we do not accept those person easily who do not speak what we speak, who do not know culture aspect of what we respect and who looks stupid by the color of skin which does not makes any sense in our resentful body.


The race is not against only one country or two countries, It exits even between one single countries. The race is the next big issue that people should really think about. Really wipe it out from this world.

Come on people, here is the time to walk, talk, speak and share ideas hand in hand despite separating some one with differences but by mutually realizing in someone yourself.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Unacceptable

Are you awake ? Good-Now go to the bathroom and do your morning activities. Ok, So you are on your way-Prayed GOD for the beautiful bright sunny day and now you want to go bathroom. But suddenly some one called you. Wait.

Hello, Kalwar- "Either you clean or else you will be kicked out of this place".

Wow !

Good Morning in this place. I know it is good to speak the truth, I know it is very nice to speak the reality and say that you are not good at what you do. I know it. I am not trying here to say that I am right or he is right or some one else is right.
The reality is that Early in the morning before even going to bathroom and brushing your teeth your mate asked you something or says you something that really hurts.

The truth hurts. It is not acceptable by any standards if we do not clean and do not save if you are in other countries. We should always respect the people, energy, whatever like culture, religion, sex, and whatsoever of that country only because that country has give a lot of things to you.

When their are bad times in your life-more bad times comes. It is the phenomenon where every door gets closed, every friends become your enemy and every person you believe would help would not.

In the process of learning we do mistakes, I have not seen any one being perfect. The man who said the words even he does many mistakes but he never wants to accept it. Ok, I did the mistake of not cleaning. Now, Please do not throw me out of room only because I would not afford it and It is difficult times I am going through.

Why should I listen to you ? You are suffering that is your problem. The problem is not mine. The problem is yours and you should solve your problem. Wow. Isn't it so nice. You see others problem and you do not even want to give comment or suggestion or some words that might heal the persons problem you just want to say something that every unknown person would easily say.

Bad days are the days when you do not anything to do, you have skills, education and everything which can easily support your work but only problem you face is that you will be man full of problems. You search here and you search their which gives you nothing. You are a man with emptiness.

It is very easy to complain. Before doing any complain put yourself in others man situation. I know why should some one do it ? But it would be nice to think like that. It will give you some realization that you are being killed every moment. Why the hell in earth you exist ?

Now after getting a very hot Good morning news you go to bathroom do your all activites and think that well, this is life. You got to face it whatever way it comes. It is harsh, it really hurts but why should you worry. Problem you face always get multiplied when you are in deep shit.

It is easy to complain we always do that in our life. We have complain about food, about religion, about GOD, about life, about our car, about study, about whatever we get. It is easy to complain because complain will give us excuse. It will makes us feel that we are superior. Whatever we do and we did are best. We are the best and we have supriority over whatever things or humans or earth we complain about.

It is very easy to seat in drivers seat and complain about some one who is walking in long long highway. The seating in drivers seats means you are comfortable, you have money, you have all the necessary things in your life you want. Now you can easily do what you want.

I am worried in the first place I thought my prayers were heard couple of days ago and I was really happy about it. I thank to GOD for his quick reaction. Now, I would be able to sleep with some good gratification and satisfaction. But the problems multiplies if you are in real problem. Some one just said it that either you do it or you are out. Therefore I have to do it and make that everything is alright and satisfy. If in case I am out- It will really be problem then.

Let me see, we are not perfect said once a friend-Yes we are not. We do mistakes we learn and we should be direct about it. But some times when you are get bite early in the morning before even having taken your morning coffee it hurts. If I were the guy who was angry then probably I would have waited for the right time and would have said in different way. It is easy to make some one cry. Very easy. Say something that is hurtful and the person will get hurt.

How many people in day you hurt ? Every thing is words. If you are polite and at the same time direct then it won't hurt that person but when you are not polite about what you say surely the people get hurt. I am not proving that I am right or worng. I am just explaining my situation.

Hopefully by the grace of GOD everything goes fine and I would not be the victim. Yesterday another nice thing I heard that was in company in UK they ask for traineeship only those person who have valid EU,EEA and UK permit. Those who belong to first world.

Since I come from place where we are looked as minorities and thought as if we are helpless, poor, underpriveliged, uneducated people more importantly the people from third world where people believe that we do not have good rules and regulation, do not have proper manners, and many more. How could someone get a permission to even get traineeship. Their is no opportunity for the people like us.

I am thankful to the country where I am getting opportunity to study. I am thankful to all the people in this country, culture, religion and environment, Nature Thanks for atleast beliving in my or our potential and giving us life changing opportunity.

But I am not thankful to those who makes rules. Those rules sucks. The rule which states "you come from third world, go to your place." In the world where people are measured with the power of their mind still people measure you from the place you come from. Every body wants change, do not worry as longs as we want the change we will get it because it is humans(us) who wants to change.

If nature changes-the whole of human kind will be go in trouble. The days are getting shorter for that. One day, Even the Nature will change. At that time we all will realize that we are and we should be "One", without any discrimination of caste, culture, country, religion, sex, ethnicity, and many more differences.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Without you.

Once their was a beautiful girl, living in Nepal her beauty was similar to the beauty of Nature and Nepali scent of flowers. She was perfect girl with all the blossom and smiling face every now and then. The guy who liked her was in foreign land. The problem was that the girl had never seen this guy before.

The guy always had seen her, the place she lives, the timing of her office or school and the wherever she goes in the country. The guy was very cute and was very nice too. The girl had no idea who the guy was and she never noticed anything about this guy. Girl was living in her own life.

She has a pleasant life of her own. The guy loves the girl so much that he could not express his feelings for her. The guy is shy, has a deep impact of the girl and always thinks for her. He is in love-the state of negativity the state where he is blind. Everything is fair in love and war.

The fairness of love he could not understand. He wants to express but somehow he could not express it at the right moment. It was dark and snowy day the day when he has to leave her dream girl without even getting glimpse of her. He was not feeling well. He did not want to go away from her but the situation demanded him to go, the situation asked him to visit the foreign land. He never felt a kind of love for her before.

Especially when he was in the moment of being separated. Especially when he was leaving her far behind. He is worried now. He think will it be same ? Can I see the girl in the same way I had seen her. Will she be like a morning first rays of sun that falls in sunflower and looks as if it is soon going to glow. Will it be like that ? What if she is gone and she is not anymore ? What would I do with my one way of liking her.

I could not express my love for her only because she is so far. The greatest obstacle now in my life is the journey that I am traveling. The time is the most valuable thing, it changes everything-especially people. Nature will always remain same. Oh my love, I would do anything for you. Just to see you or get to see your face.

Oh my love I would do anything do listen to your voice. Oh my love why did not or why could not I speak what I am feeling for you. I know you do not know me but what is that keeping me that feeling for you.

I am really shy, I am really feeling deep love for you. The love which no one can understand the love which will remain for me ever and ever inside me. I am not worried about you being with others but I am worried about will I be able to see the same smile on your face.

Today people are changing, will you be same my love. I do not know how people define love-every body says it is two ways it can only happen in two ways- I do not belive in two ways or one ways. I belive in simplicity of my feelings of my heart which always remembers you, your smile your tone.

I always am worried about you. I am alone without you. Only I had your number to call you , I could have done it long before. Now I realize that I should have talked with you. Now I realize that I should have shown you the feelings that I was going through.

Now I really felt that I can even die for you. When some body can give a life for the person whom I have never seen-you know that is special feelings. I am not the creator of my life but I can certainly be able to destroy for you. Why am I feeling such a stupid feelings just for you.

I hope you will be the same and our story will end up being a happy ending. I am also afraid at the same time it won't happen like that. I know that we live in real world where reality is always different then our imagination and what we think most of the times. I hope and pray even you will not be able to see me or even you will not be mine- be happy and smile as i saw you like never before., be happy and cheerful as I saw and wish you never did before.

May we meet in heaven and by the grace of GOD I would have power to express my real love for you. The way I felt for you and reality hidden in my heart which is not coming very easily outside as a expression. Oh my love- I love you as if people will never imagine the quantity, my love for you is full of sky, full of stars you see in the sky and full of flowers present in this planet. I am waiting to see you again, I am waiting if I would be alive by then the first thing I would do is visit you and say that how much I felt deep inside me for you.

Oh my god, please give me power to stand this moment, please bless me with the power of being alone and lonely Now. Without you, it seems life would end. Without you life it seems that I have reached a dead end. I hope my dead end will soon explore the new way.

Hope is all I have dear as I am patiently waiting to see you.


(The article is especially for one brother, who lives in Dubai and the girl lives in Nepal.)